Friday, November 20, 2009

Friday Picks-UK,more like You SUCK-edition

Today is a sad day for the Bulldog nation and dog/Dawg lovers(well, I guess yesterday was) as Uga VII passed away from apparently a heart attack. I won't mock Uga VII, but I will say that potentially had he been more active, perhaps he'd still be with us today. Uga VI was active and barked loud enough you could hear him in the upper deck and over the TV. He played with Hairy Dawg and the cheerleaders and was always ready to pose for a photo. This Uga seemed to run out at the beginning of the game then just head to his house and rest his genitals on ice for the rest of the game. Never heard him bark much. Just sit on ice in his house.
He was still a damn good dawg who left us too soon, but maybe the next Uga could be a little more active. Just saying...........

with that, let's head to the picks.

#10 Ohio State @ Michigan. The Big House will see Ohio State come in having won 9000 straight over Michigan (give or take) and RichRod might actually need to win this game to save his job. SERIOUSLY Michigan men? You guys might fire him after two seasons? REALLY? You guys think that is smart? The Big 11 is THERE for the taking and he is two years into a rebuilding job and you guys want to cut ties with him? He is going to own the conference once his freshmen become sophomores then juniors. Iowa? Ohio State? Penn State? These are the big time programs in the Big11 right now and they are at their best....and Michigan is right on their heels as bad as they are right now. Did the Michigan men see what RichRod did at West VA? Obviously they did; that's why they hired him. Now they have buyer's remorse? I don't get them. I think RichRod upsets the Sweatervest and suddenly Michigan Men all over the world love RichRod again. UPSET OF THE WEEK SPECIAL BONUS PICK!

Minnesota @ #13 Iowa. So Iowa, without its top two RBs and without its QB, is STILL No.13? WOW. That is something. Reminds me of when Statesboro lost its QB last year yet was still ranked in the AJC's top ten for the last three weeks of the season. Hmmmmmm. Iowa can still win at home though. Right? I mean Minnesota isn't that good, right? I'm only doing ONE extra upset pick.

Duke @ No.20 Miami. snickersnicker. I guess The U isn't yet back. Moving on. Relax Tech fans, even if you had lost to Duke last week, you'd have been bailed out this week....assuming Miami can beat Duke. If Miami lays another egg this week, then Tuberville can tell his real estate agent to stop looking in Charlottesville and start in Coral Gables....but don't worry Daddio. Randy Shannon isn't getting fired this off-season. Tubs is coming to UVa (hopefully for your sake). The Canes win and PLEASE don't say The U is BACK after you beat DUKE......

Maryland @ FSU. Poor Maryland. The Terps used to be able to say Crabcakes and Football, that's what Maryland does. Well, because of Ralph the Fridge, they cannot say either. He's killed the football aspect by coaching Maryland into the ground and I think he's eaten all of the crabcakes in the Maryland, Delaware and Virginia area. Crud! At least it is basketball season....which is what FSU fans are saying too these days. Did you see that Mrs. Bowden said that they'd have to fire Bobby because he'll never quit. WOW. He really needs to tell his Squaw to let her Brave run the teepee. Does he go to Tallahassee League of Women Voters meetings and say that she'll never retire as the treasurer, they'll have to fire her? Come on now.....Take FSU

Louisville @ SoFla. So I wonder where all of the Cardinal backers are NOW that said Gruden was a LOCK to take the Lou'ville job? If I was Gruden and I could do ESPN or coach the Louisville Cardinals.....I'd sign an extension with ESPN as well. FULMER TO LOUISVILLE (and they should be HAPPY to get him!) SoFla is SO FLY!

UNC @ BC. I am SOOOO Sorry I picked against you Butch. I was wrong. But you know why I did? I was sitting on the toilet, looking through the TSN spread that chronicled your week leading up to the UVa game and I thought, "WOW, he doesn't look happy with his team." Then I pooped and flushed. Don't worry though. I sprayed fabreez before during and afterwards. UNC wins a road game. PS, this is an ESPN2 game so Pam Ward is Chestnut Hill and now that she's transitioned to the ACC from the Big11, I think the road team usually ruins the plans for the hometown dance party. The REVERSE CURSE!

Chattanooga @ No.2 Bama. I remember SportsNight used to say about Chattanooga, "Two T's and Two O's." Jeremy could have also added "three A's," but that's OK. He went on to become Will Bailey and would write for one of the greatest (fictional) presidents ever, Jed Bartlett. And that is a Republican saying that.....Tide ROLLS!

Miss State @ Arkie. So Uga died. There will not be a replacement Uga at Sanford Stadium this weekend (hey, I was at the last UgaVII game ever. sad...) and UGaVIII won't be picked until next season. I say this because there WILL be a live Bulldog mascot in action in the SEC this weekend as Miss State heads to Fayetteville to face Petrino. But does anyone KNOW Miss State's bulldog's name? NO. Petrino piles on the points.

Florida International @ #1 Florida. Hey Gators, way to play a TOUGH non-conference schedule. Of, FIU, WOW. Was FAU busy this weekend? Gimmie a break. Florida scores 80.

Oklahoma @ Texas Tech. Remember last year when this game was No.1 v No.2? Gameday was there (shocker, ABC and ESPN at a Big12 game?!) and OU just routed Texas Tech. Boy have both teams fallen. OU has made me ashamed to wear my most comfortable hat while Texas Tech still has a fun coach, but not much else. SO tough to go on the road in the Big12....unless it is to Lubbuck in which case you should remember to bring toilet paper and fresh water. Kind of like going to France. But not at all. Boomer Sooner.

Memphis @ #24 Houston. Hmmmm Memphis just fired its coach and now they go on the road. Typically you'd like to think the team will want to rally up and win one for the coach, but then you remember, gosh, wouldn't they have won one BEFORE he was fired it they REALLY cared about him? Houston cruises with Case Kennum trying to win the Heisman.

#4 TCU @ Wyoming. (And on a side note, #6 Boise State travels to Utah State tonight) Wow, What tough conference road games for BOTH of these top 6 schools. Yeah, think about what I just said. This is considered a TOUGH CONFERENCE ROAD game for these two schools. Yep, Wyoming, an early season cupcake for Texas and Utah State, a cupcake win for Oregon last year and Georgia before that a few years back. These are the schools that the big boys play over Labor Day. They get up by 4 TDs by the middle of the second quarter and people head back to their tailgate to finish drinking. But for TCU and Boise State, these games MATTER....BIG TIME. THAT'S WHY TCU and BSU are jokes. I can knock Florida all I want about playing FIU, that for TCU that is probably a conference opponent. Take TCU and ESPN, don't you EVER go to TCU for Gameday.....EVER AGAIN! So stupid. But it WAS a nice change from Columbus and Austin.

Iowa State @ Mizzou. You're probably thinking, "SBF, why are you picking this game? these two teams really bite! (NOT A NEW MOON REFERENCE, I PROMISE!)" Well, the reason I'm picking this game is because it has MAJOR Big12 North implications. Wow. The B12N stinks. Iowa State because a Tiger would lose to a Cyclone in a fight.

UConn @ Notre Dame. I wonder if Fupa will act smug about keeping his job if he beats UConn. He SHOULDN'T, but he probably will. Notre Dame will get just about EVERY CALL by the hometown officials and we'll have to deal with Charlie-just-might-save-his-job stories. I wonder if Notre Dame doesn't get Brian Kelly, who they'll go to next. It could be like January 2005 all over again.

#8 LSU @ Ole Miss. I bet the folks at the Grove thought this game would be WAY bigger than this at the beginning of the season. I know Roomie thought it would be. She took Ole Miss as her Boys. Bad move Cubes. I guess it would be better than taking Uga though. He died. I think Ole Miss wins because Jefferson is a little dinged up, but I'm rooting for LSU so that Georgia can maybe go to the Outback Bowl instead of the music shi**y bowl.

#14 Penn State @ Michigan State. THere is a chance that Penn Kate is coming over tomorrow for this game and the Georgia game. I CANNOT pick against Penn State, otherwise she will mock me if they win and I picked against them. Therefore....PENN STATE WINS!

#16 Wisconsin @ Northwestern and Purdue @ Indiana. BOTH are on at the same time on the Big Ten Network (but there are 11 teams...) How will they decide which game to show? BOTH games are so watchable...and by watchable I mean if I was in one of those rooms in the Saw movies. I wonder what Jigsaw would make me do to get out of that situation.....probably pick Wisconsin and Purdue.

UVa @ #23 Clemson. As much as I want UVa to win, it would just be a battle and I want UVa to win the war. If UVa loses, then Groh FINALLY goes and Tubs or maybe Al Golden can come in and turn the Hoos around. So I will take Klimpsen to win at home and advance to the ACCCG.

#19 Oregon State @ Wazzou. WAIT, WHAT? Oregon State is No.19? IN THE COUNTRY? When did this happen? Was I asleep? Wiskey Tango Foxtrot!? I guess the No.19 team in the country will move up with a win over the Carps of Wazzou. (I know they are the cougars, but I think calling them Carp, aka bottom-feeding sucker fish is funnier)

#25 Cal @ #17 Stanford. Didn't Cal lose three straight (or something) then have its best player leave the field on a stretcher? I like Stanford in this one. Hmmmm I guess like the Big12 last season, the Pac10 is getting an extra heapin' helpin' of ESPN love due to SEC backlash. If we were to rank the teams though in the two conferences (I love doing this) I would do it this way....
1 USC v Florida (I know USC isn't the top team in the conference, but they really are.) Gators win
2 Stanford (Yep, that's your No.2 Pac10ers) v Bama. Bama wins
3 Oregon v LSU. Yesh, without a healthy QB for LSU and no healthy Charles Scott, I might have to go with Oregon
4 Oregon State v Ole Miss. I'm taking Ole Miss
5 Cal v Georgia. (That's right. I put UGA No.5! Eat it) I'm taking Georgia. Cal is a bunch of tree-huggers.
6 Arizona v Auburn. Depends on when the game is played. Is Mike Stoops on the hot seat? He only wins when he is. (See earlier this season when he was-he reach No.17. Now that he saved his job-he lost last week). Let's go with Zona.
7. UCLA V Tennessee. They've played already and UCLA won. Would that result change? Hmmmm yes. I belive it would. BUT I'll say UCLA so people don't say I'm a homer
8.Arizona State v South Carolina. Both played Georgia close. I'll go with ClickClack over Dennis Erickson.
9. Washington v Arkansas. One beat USC, the other would beat Washington. Arkansas
10. Washington State v Kentucky. Two words. Randall Cobb. UK.
Let's tally that up. SEC: 7 Pac10: 3 Yeah, the Pac-10 RULES! Not.

K-State @ Nebraska. On ESPN no less. Much like Iowa State v Mizzou, this one will decide who gets killt by Texas in the Big12 CG. Since Nebraska is at home, let's go with them.

KU @ #3 Texas. BREAKING NEWS! YET ANOTHER person has come out and claimed that Mangino crossed the line. The player, who refused to give SBF his name, said that Mangino threatened to sit on him if he didn't respect his authority. (Wait, is Mangino who they based Cartman from South Park on?) Listen, (even though I'm not talking) even without all of these threats and accusations that ex-players have made against Mr. Arbys, this guy should be shown the extra-wide door: HE BENCHED HIS BEST PLAYER WITH THE GAME STILL ON THE LINE. HE IS AN IDIOT! Texas will put him out of his misery with a thrashing. Colt McCoy, Wifey's boy, will have a field day.

Special picks, one week before Black Friday.
Lock of the Week.
NCState @ #15 VaTech. I really thought Tom O'Brien would have this thing farther along than this. Alas....Take Beamer.

Upset of the Week.
No.11 Oregon @ Arizona. I am WEARING my Arizona shirt for the second straight week, last week they lost. Will they again? I SAY NO! I think the Karma Police comes back to haunt Chip Kelly and they lose BECAUSE they play LeGarrett Blount after they said he was donezo for the year. Arizona with KARMA wins this one.

Local rooting interest
GT is off. GREAT, so they can scout Georgia and Clemson. Let me give you a hint: MOVE ON FROM GEORGIA, we stink. Start focusing on CU. In fact, don't even bother next week either. I'm sure you'll win in a cakewalk.

UK @ Georgia. The Dawgs looked pretty good last week after this first Quarter. And as for Joe Cox, he said he was laughing after the game at the fact that people were booing in the first quarter. Is his eligibility done yet? I am sick of this guy and his apparent disdain for the Georgia fans. Oh, I've never played so therefore I shouldn't talk about it? If we left the talking to the people that played ONLY, then only David Pollack would be allowed to talk. AND THAT WOULDN'T BE A GOOD THING. Cox, face it bro, you've had a BAD season. This was your only shot and you missed. Bobo has been nice to not say that his playbook has been limited with you running the offense.
And What is with all of the INTs?
And now you don't like it when people voice displeasure with you? SORRY BRO, but you went three and out against a sorry Auburn Defense when your team was trailing and needed a score to respond. I know you ended up winning, but that was thanks to the running game. You need to STOP responding to the fans through the media and just focus on playing football. You've got three games left. Shut up and just score touchdowns. That will make the fans stop booing. And don't expect a HUGE ovation on senior day. You might have burned your bridges to get that Standing O you probably think you deserve. And if/when you DON'T get it, don't yell at the fans through the media.
That said, I like Justin Houston and Cornelius "C-Note" Washington (I'm trying to see if that nickname will catch on. C-Note, catch the fever!) chasing a true freshman QB all day. I like Rennie Curran in perhaps his final Sanford Stadium appearance and I like the idea that this might be Reshad Jones' final appearance Between the Hedges. (How sad is it that people are ROOTING for you to turn pro. What does that say about you? Maybe you stink? And Rennie...I love you brother, but I think you are too small to play right now in the NFL. You get taken out by the likes of LSU and that isn't good. EVERYONE in the NFL is LSU good.)
No AJ Green, but perhaps we won't need him against UK. T-King, time to step up. And the running game has gotten better now that Dick Samuel isn't running the ball anymore. Caleb and Washaun are quite the duo. Weird, but true.
I like the Dawgs in this one.

Have a great weekend of football. I'll be calling the Colquitt Co (with Rush Propst) v Stephenson game tonight. The game features about 6 or 7 Jaguar players headed to BCS conferences next season. My favorite might just be Raymond Sanders aka The Colonel, headed to UK. That nickname is SURE to stick, especially if he becomes a good player. The Colonel at Kentucky. Sanders. COME ON PEOPLE! gpb.org/football if you want to check it out.

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