Adam Lambert kissed a boy and America DIDN'T like it, MJ pulls a Heath Ledger, Donny Osmond finishes what Marie started and Oprah sets a retirement date. Oh yeah, and we have FOOTBALL!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Weekly picks mixed in with a midweek entertainment report!
(CONFUSED CLAPPING. Shot of Marissa in the audience)
Thursday.
#3 Texas @ Texas A&M. I know Detroit plays (without Stafford, they lose) and Dallas plays (hopefully they lose too) and Joey BoD's Giants play (who cares?) but the college game of the night is the Aggies hosting the Horns. Is there anyone that DOESN'T think that Colt McCoy won't put up 6 TDs on these guys in an attempt to stuff the Heisman ballot box? On a side note, Daddio is now freaking out because UVA might miss out on Tuberville as TAMU might come a-callin'.......Won't matter. Tubs will be keeping an eye on the Miami job the entire time he is in either College Station or Charlottesville.
Friday
Rutgers @ Louisville. Is this Krapthorpe's final game? Fulmer to Louisville! Do the Cardinals win one for Steve and carry him off into the sunset? Doubt it. As much as I like to mock Greg Shiano for pulling an Eddie Fogler (now I hear that he turned down Miami because he wants the Penn State job...HA!), he is 200X better than Krapthorpe. That's not saying much about Shiano, more about Krapthorpe.
Illinois @ #5 Cincy. This game at the start of the season is one I might be really interested in. Too bad Ron Zook pulled a 2004 Zook job on this team and messed up a potentially really solid team. Look for Brian Kelly to yet another gold star on his resume as he applies for the Notre Dame gig.
Nebraska @ Colorado. You can bet this game will be on when I head out west to Colorado to visit Wifey's family this weekend. Grandpa Gene is a big Colorado fan. NU has already clinched a spot in the Big12 CG and I love how ABC/ESPN are trying to keep viewers for next week's Big12CG by saying that Bo Pelini's defense could slow down Colt McCoy. Yeah, and I could start for the Chicago Bulls. That COULD happen but in REALITY it won't. Nebraska wins this one, but will be skullcrushed next week.
#9 Pitt @ West Va. TWO TEAMS IN THE TOP 10! The Big East is BACK! Well, no, that's not true. But two teams is sort of impressive. The Pac10 doesn't have that. Big12? Nope. As for this game, the BACKYARD BRAWL if you will. I fear that couches will be burned after the game, but they won't be in celebration of victory. Nope, I think the stache knocks off Bill Stewart for the win.
Nevada @ #6 Boise State. I ONLY put this game on the picks because I just want to show everyone the quality of competition that Boise State plays in conference. OH COURSE BSU WINS, THEY ARE PLAYING NEVADA IN CONFERENCE PLAY. Who else plays Nevada? Notre Dame (First game of the season), Colorado State (tune up in second week) and Mizzou (tune up in third week). Yet Boise State plays them as a coference opponent. Boise State wins. SIGH.
Saturday
#18 Clemson @ South Carolina. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Dabo Sweeney is my favorite coach in the ACC. I listen to Paul Johnson on the radio and I'm not sure if I like him or think he's a prick. He's honest. But Dabo cracks me up. He really does. How is he a coach? "I looked around and I didn't see CJ, then I found him. He was tired from running that kick back." What did you do then? "I just yelled at him for a while." Great. Take the funny coach over the coach that was swarmy and funny back in the late 90s.
#24 UNC @ NCState. The Heels. Did you catch Adam Lambert on the AMAs? I missed it (I was watching Fracture on Charter on-demand.) Apparently he forced a guy down into his crotch, then kissed another dude. And American didn't like it. At least Good Morning America didn't. AL, we get it. you are gay and now you can finally show it when you couldn't on American Idol (not sure why you didn't think you could...) Is this what you are going to be from now on, performer-wise? You've even turned off Sean. Just saying... I know you aren't a babysitter, but let's maybe leave that stuff for your post-Idol tour. Maybe?
Syracuse @ UConn. Maybe this one will go 6 OTs like their Basketball game? That would be the ONLY WAY I'd watch this one, for the record. I think UConn on senior day wins another one for Jazz.
Wake @ Duke. The Blue Devils cannot go bowling. Sorry David Cutcliff. On the other hand, Wake Forest has a new fan in Paul The Deacon Mac. Those two factors have me jumping on Wake's bangwagon for this game. NEVER go against Paul Mac. As a Deacon, he now has God on his side.
#25 Ole Miss @ Mississippi State. The battle for the egg bowl. Houston Nutt has more talent than Dan Mullen, so right now, I've got to go with Ole Miss. And Kudos (I guess?) to Donny Osmond for winning Dancing with the stars, even though I don't watch that one. (I'm not even watching SYTYCD this season. Sorry Cat.) He won after his sister/girlfriend from a few seasons back faked passing out to not get voted out. Ahhhhh C- list celebs, clinging to 6 weeks of "fame." So sad.
#12 Okie State @ OU. If you DON'T think I'm going to give my in-laws crap about the Pokes using an illegal player to beat Georgia, then you clearly don't know me. This game is in Norman, but with Landry Jones at QB, the Sooners are cooked. He might be the only QB in America WORSE than Joe Cox. MAYBE. At least if Okie State goes to the Fiesta Bowl, I can sleep easier at night knowing Georgia lost to a BCS team that it could have beaten if the ILLEGAL player had not played....Wait Bryan Evans played for us. Nevermind. We'd have lost that game anyways.
New Mexico @ #4 TCU. Texas A&M and Texas Tech. Two teams that used New Mexico as target practice. TCU calls them a conference opponent. Take the Horney Toads. And Michael Jackson won four AMAs...I wonder how many he'd have won if he had not died. Did he release any new music? I didn't think so. Way to pull a Heath Ledger there AMAs.
FSU @ #1 Florida. Urban Meyer has now cried at three straight press conferences when the fact is brought up that this is Tim Tebow's final game in the swamp. I like that you are close to your players, but this is a bit scary. Just saying. Or maybe you are crying because you know that he was your meal ticket and you are just Billy Donavon on the gridiron and once your star leaves, you'll be in the Capital One Bowl (a No.4 seed) or Outback bowl (the NIT) for a while. Tebow won't lose his final home game. The refs won't allow it! Sorry SEC commish. You can fine me.
#14 VaTech @ UVa. Ladies and gentlemen, the final game of Al Groh's UVa career. MASS APPLAUSE! Hokies close the curtain with yet ANOTHER win over the Hoos.
#17 Miami @ SoFla. The Hurricanes and the Bulls. Can you really call Tampa "South Florida?" Isn't Miami a little more SOUTH than Tampa? If Miami wins, shouldn't South Florida have to call themselves Middle Florida? Just wondering.
Zona @ Arizona State. I am NOT wearing my Arizona shirt today. I feel that I jinxed them. But don't worry. If Stoops feels he is on the hotseat, he wins this game. I'll have to ask F-i-L if he is. He is the NEW Tommy Bowden. Take the Wildcats.
BC @ Maryland. Speaking of people that will soon be out of work (Ralphie, that was a reference to you!) Oprah announced that she is calling it quits in 2011 so she can focus on her new Oprah Network. Doesn't she already have Oxygen? She needs another one? Wait, what will stay-at-home wives do now? Who will they blindly listen to without question? Oprah? I bet Tyra thinks she is going to step right in. Or will Rosie try and get back in the game? Will Rachel Ray try and squeeze in there? This could get exciting. I know Joel McHale is voting for Wendy Williams. Oh, as for this game, take BC.
Mizzou @ KU. Wasn't Mizzou ranked at one point this season? I think Kansas was too though. Hmmmmm, Oh Yeah, Mizzou doesn't have a HORRIBLE coaching controversy to deal with. I have to give the edge to the Tigers. Less drama. And I think Todd Reesing throws 6 INTs on his 9th senior day (or maybe it just seems like his ninth.)
#21 Utah @ #19 BYU. Hey cool, two ranked teams from the state of Utah. Did they just rank them so Senator Hatch would shut it? YES. YES THEY DID. I like the Mormons in this game. (Crap, that includes both teams.) I'll take the team that Jamal Sniff Anderson didn't play for.
Texas Tech @ Baylor. Mike Leach, I am SO sorry I picked against you last week. Win this one then give the red raiders the finger right to Louisville. OR MAYBE SOUTH BEND? Nah, they'd never do that. But he could do the Louisville thang.
Wazzou @ U-Dub. The Apple Cup. Never I have NOT cared about a state championship more. Well, maybe last year.....U-Dub.
Tennessee @ UK. So Janzen Jackson was reinstated now that he was cleared of charges because he saw what was happening but decided not to get involved. That means he didn't help in the robbery but he didn't exactly stop it or alert police. But I guess because he COULD EVENTUALLY be all-SEC, he's allowed to stick around. UK, I know you guys beat Georgia last week, but Tennessee is going to beat you guys. Sorry Matt. Enjoy the game though.
Notre Dame @ Stanford. Jimmy Clausen gets punched in the face but he's still going to start this Saturday. He just has a black eye. His pride was hurt a long time ago; he's learned to play without it. Stanford lost last week, but if you DON'T think they'll just pound Charlie Weis right into forced retirement, you are out of your mind.
UCLA @ #20 USC. Three losses, two blowouts, and they are still in the top 20. Pete Carroll has everyone snowed. They beat UCLA though. Easy. You know Pete wants to smack Rick and Norm. Right in the face. And he will. HOLIDAY BOWL! USC V OU! YIPPEE!
SIDE DISHES
LOCK OF THE WEEK
#2 Bama @ Auburn. Sorry Joey BagoDonuts, but I cannot see ANY SITUATION where Auburn beats Alabama. Sorry. I really am. The way I see it though, you lost to us and we lost to UK. So you guys REALLY stick. I know it's at home but to top it all off, Ben Tate is crazy and crazy people just don't lead teams to wins, especially over Nick Saban. Just doesn't happen.
UPSET OF THE WEEK
Arkansas @ #15 LSU. The Tigers have a weaker team than they did last year and Arkansas has a better team than last year. And Arkie won last season. I think Ryan Mallet leads Arkie to YET ANOTHER WIN over LSU. Hey Les, HAVE A GREAT DAY!
Local teams involved in Good Clean Old-fashioned Hate.
Georgia @ #7 GT. I heard where there is a cartoon going around that has Buzz driving the Ramblin' Wreck over the dead body of Uga VII. You stay classy Georgia Tech. Bottom line in this game, if Georgia doesn't win, I want Tech to RUN IT UP, because maybe then Willie Martinez will get gone. I will be rooting crazy-like for the Dawgs, but I just don't see it happening, especially with Joe Cox at QB. Final score: GT 41-UGA 34.
Have a great Turkey weekend everybody. Safe travels if you are traveling. Don't worry Dawg fans, the pain is almost over.
No comments:
Post a Comment