Lindsay Lohan is play a porn star, Miley and Christina getting dirrrty, Pirates #4 is gonna suck and when did American Idol get so cheap?
Ladies and Gentlmen, it's the Cinco De MAYO edition of the Midweek Entertainment report!
(Sombreros are being tossed in the air!)
An independent film producer alerted the press yesterday that Lindsay Lohan will play the lead character of Linda Lovelace in the soon-to-be-filmed movie Inferno. Lovelace was a porn star in the 1970s(?) that filmed Deep Throat, which many people believe to be the first mainstream porno. Lohan reportedly said that it was a good research role for her future career as a coked-out porn star. Seriously? Lohan thinks this is a good idea? REALLY? Who is her manager? Mischa Barton? Hey Lindsay, I know you've had some personal issues for the last 6 years, but let's start your comeback with you starring as a porn star in an indie flick! On a lighter note, Bill Pullman will star in the movie as Hef. Can't you just see Pullman looking exasperated and screaming, "Doesn't anybody have any boobies!?"
Have you caught Miley's new video yet? Well the Disney Channel certainly won't be airing it anytime soon. I guess she is trying to compete with Christina Aguilera's new video where Xina (remember when she tried to go by that for a while?) goes back to being dirrrty. Or maybe Miley was just shooting THIS video back for that Vanity Fair photo shoot. I get Christina doing a sexy video, but Miley? Hannah Montana? And the whole sexy Miley video thing is undone because they didn't fix her teeth. How can you be in a sexy video with those chompers?
Pirates of the Caribbean 4 is really going to suck now. Forget no Keira Knightley for a second, apparently the budget for the film was dropped by 1/3 and the shoot was moved from the Caribbean to Hawaii and London. WOW. Not that Hawaii isn't beautiful, but it isn't Pirates of Hawaii. Oh and the shooting days were dropped from 145 to just 90 days. I guess that means fewer takes. Well, it works for Eastwood. However, I am onboard with new director Rob Marshall over the director of the first three Gore Verbinski. Marshall did Nine and Chicago while Verbinski directed the video game that was No.2. (I never saw No.3 but people tell me it sucked.) Perhaps Marshall will SAVE the movie......no, Keira would have done that. Wait, is Taylor Townsend available?
Finally, the American Idol wannabes attempted Sinatra last night. (I am glad I didn't watch because I likely would have destroyed my TV for those untalented goobs attempting Frank. Now David Cook's season would have been fine, and last year was cool with the Rat Pack week). Let me ask this question though....when did AI get so cheap. While I do enjoy Harry Connick Jr., was Michael Buble really THAT MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE? Come on guys. Shell out the extra cash for Michael Buble!
Happy Cinco De Mayo everybody (you know, that made up holiday that Americans invented so they wouldn't feel like lushes for wanting to drink Coronas and Dos XX on a random Wednesday. If you want to drink, JUST DRINK. You don't need a made-up holiday! Childish, just like Sex rehab. No, Tiger, you're just a shithead, not an addict.)
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