Friday, May 1, 2009

Atlanta v Miami. You want some? Come get it!

I WAS going to blog about last night's Survivor and how JT and Stephen messed up by sending Sierra packing instead of Debbie, but instead I have decided to take up the cause in Miami's war with Atlanta. Oh Miami, you want some, You've gotta come through ME now!
Oh, the Miami Heat beat writers and radio hosts and even the players don't like the Hawks play-by-play guy sarcastically mocking Dwyane Wade in the fight. They don't like that he said that the Heat was resorting to thuggery. And they don't like that Josh Smith tried a dunk contest-esque dunk at the end of a blowout. WOW. maybe those same people should be looking in the mirror and at Miami instead of at Atlanta. Take some responsibility yourselves!
First off, the pxp guy may have gone a little overboard with mocking Wade, but like Wade didn't have that coming, right? This guy's back hurt in the team's losses, but NOT in the team's wins? Hmmmm. Interesting. And hurt so much that he STILL scored 29 points the other day? WOW. This is a guy that flings himself into people and draws fouls, so when a team gets physical with him he stays on the ground to pick up calls? Hey Miami fans, how about you tell Dwyane to work on his jump shot instead of shooting 83 commercials every offseason?
Secondly, he is the FREAKING PLAY-BY-PLAY announcer for the HAWKS! He doesn't work for TNT or NBATV or ABC or ESPN. HE IS ALLOWED TO BE A HOMER! Are you telling me your radio pxp guy isn't a homer? If not, why not? I bet those broadcasts suck. Larry Munson was the biggest homer EVER for Georgia and Skip Carey was too with the Atlanta Braves. Why would I care how Miami fans and players react to OUR TEAM'S Announcer? Shut up.

Finally, as much as I hate Josh Smith (waste of natural God-given ability, and PLEASE stop saying he is too young and immature. He has been in the league for 5 seasons, is being paid like a franchise player and was drafted out of high school several picks after high schooler Dwight Howard. Interesting how HE is mature...) I will defend his dunk attempt. It was the end of a blowout game. Get over it. Are you telling me Michael Beasley wouldn't have done it? You don't like? RUN BACK on defense and block the shot or send him to the floor. But NO, you guys just stood there like goons and thought, "Oh, that makes me mad! I could have hustled back, but I'd rather be lazy then just blast him in the media and those beat writers will want to stay on my good side so they will agree with me!"

Miami, how did you ever win an NBA title? Your players and fans don't deserve to have that. Oh, that's right, you traded for Shaq who decided to get back in shape after getting fat with the Lakers just to prove they were wrong, you ran through a weak east and got EVERY call against the Mavs in 2006. Now though, you guys are a collection of crap except for Dwyane Wade who apparently needs a radio pxp guy to give him motivation.

So it is ON like the BREAK of DAWN. You want some Miami? Come on! Bring it. What have you ever given us that Cuba didn't first? (Thanks Paul Mac!) Speaking of Sleazy P, he says that he is willing to join my fight against Miami. He says I can wave the flag while he plays that flute/fife thing. All we need now is a drummer with an eye bandage on. We'll take on Miami (home of the dirtiest airport I've ever been to) and we will win. I liken the city of Miami to those pirates over in the Caspian Sea or where ever they are. You can talk big, but once you approach my ship (Atlanta in this case) I am simply going to either speed away (because we have not only a better team but also a better city), or knock your ladder off my ship or cut the grappling hooks.....OR just sweep your pegleg Cobra Kai-style if you SOMEHOW DO manage to get aboard. Come on Miami, time to bow up. You are going up against Those Guys now!

PS, you've also got Matty Ice and the Falcons ready to beat you Dolphin jokers down next season. Get ready. Maybe Matty Ice can be our little drummer boy. Yeah, it's all starting to come together. We'll also need to find a spot for ZaZa too!

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