Kicking off the picks!

I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm BACK! I feel like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. "HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE's Johnny!" Yes the picks are back and I don't mean Matthew Stafford PICKS, but rather, my picking college football games. Now before we get started, just remember, I don't pick based on spreads. Last time I checked a football game has never started 38-0 because of the spread. If you are favored to win by 63 and you only win by 12, you don't LOSE. You still get the win. Spreads are fun if you want to gamble, but I enjoy the game enough just watching it.

So let's start picking the games. And for the record, if you ARE using this blog for anything OTHER than entertainment purposes, you are in trouble. Please don't put a mortgage payment down on a game based on my attempted witty comment about it. I would feel bad if you got foreclosed. Not really. I'd laugh. But it would keep me up at night thinking about how I'd feel required to see if you wanted to stay a few nights in our guest room until you got on your feet.

Navy @ No.6 Ohio State. Well HEY, duh Ohio State isn't opening with a school from the Buckeye state! WOW! Navy might give them a headache for 2 quarters and they will help them exactly ZERO for next week's game against USC, but at least Sweatervest is branching out to administer beatdowns to teams from other states. Good for Jimmy!

Akron @ No.9 Penn State. I'd have figured Ohio State would open against the Zips, whose mascot is a donkey. Or is it a kangaroo? I don't know. Cannot tell. What is a zip? It is a loser in this game as JoePa stretches that victory total a little wider on Bowden.

Minnysoooooooota @ Da Cuse. Greg Paulus goes from hated white point guard on Duke to highschool talented QB on a bad team. Minnesota made a run at the Rose Bowl last season before falling from the picture late in the year. I have to think that the Gophers take down the Orange strictly because Paulus won the QB job three weeks ago, after only taking snaps for about 2 months after a LONG layoff. A LOT of Gatorade PoY QBs never make it in college (Mustain, Mitch; Clausen, Jimmy) and that is when they go STRAIGHT THERE. Forget playing a different SPORT for four years! Gophers

Kentucky @ Miami (OH). This game is being playing in Cincinnati I believe. Wow. That gets my toe a-tappin! I wonder if THIS is the game where Rich Brooks and Joker Phillips decide to move Randall Cobb back to QB. PS, I wonder if Joker Phillips is constantly asked where those scars came from....

WKU @ Tennessee. The Lane Kiffin era should get off and running with a win. But it will be close. Which will make me LMFAO. We're in Knoxville, Trick!

Youngstown State @ Pitt. HEY, the penguins decided NOT to open with tOSU. (Is there another FAKE Ohio State University that they have to call themselves "THE"?) Youngstown State faces a Pitt team sans LeSean McCoy and with Wanny still as coach. Hmmmm, could this be an upset? NO. It is still Youngstown State.

San Jose State @ No.4 USC. So a true freshman won the starting job over a sophomore more for USC. And neither was named Mitch Mustain. Think he regrets that decision? Matt Barkley throws for 4 TDs and Aaron Corp throws two and runs one in. That's just my prediction. Both will play next week against Ohio State. THAT'S when we'll see who is really the starter.

Nevada @ no.23 Notre Dame. Let me get this straight....Notre Dame loses 15 games the last two seasons with this SAME CAST OF CHARACTERS and yet they are ranked No.23 to start the season? COME ON. ENOUGH WITH THE FUPA LOVE! But don't fret all of the upset talk CT, Notre Dame wins this game. They won't go to a BCS bowl (well they might because the rules might get tweaked if ND goes 8-4) but they'll beat the Pistol

Western Michigan @ Michigan. RichRod scheduled the correct directional Michigan. Central would have beaten them. Western will put up a fight, but the Hugh Jackmans will pull it out. And then RichRod will probably cry in the postgame conference. And I am thinking they will practice on Sunday.

Jackson State @ Miss State. Apparently this is the first time an SEC school has played a SWC school....which is weird because you'd have thought Florida would have scheduled one or Auburn would have played one back in 2004.....Dan Mullen wins.

Mizzou vs. Illinois. The Zooks feature the JUICE (not OJ, don't worry white women, he's still in jail) and A.Benn. That's good enough to take down a Chase-less Tiger team. I wonder if Chase Daniel is still trying to call gameday to see if they want to "mic him up". I bet ESPN used to LOVE hitting the ignore button on Chase. "hey, Chase is calling us again. snarf, HIT IGNORE! HA!" Take Illino-wah!

William & Mary @ UVa. So the Cavs are playing two people? Does W&M know they can have 11 players on the field at the same time? Oh well. The return of Sewell will be a successful one and Daddio I am certain will give me the lowdown on it when I return. And watch out for Vic Hall at the WildHoo.

Charleston Southern @ No.1 Florida. Way to schedule a real heavyweight there Urban. Good job. Maybe after the game, Tebow can lead the beaten in a prayer group. Honestly Urban, what was TROY busy? (Oh wait, you play them next week.) Was FIU busy? (Oh wait...) Take the Gators and that fullback they put back there to take snaps.

No.20 BYU vs. No.3 OU. Sam Bradford won't have Jermaine Gresham to throw to, but they are still playing BYU. After Boise State won last night, at least BYU will lose so we won't have to worry about another small school claiming it has the right to play in a BCS bowl. Crap. Utah is still out there. Oh well....Boomer Sooner wins this one. Thanks Oklahoma. All of these crappy teams need to play a team like OU. TCU, you need to as well. I don't want any of you little buggers STEALING a BCS spot. We get NOTHING from you being in there. Utah, Boise State, I DON'T ENJOY YOU!

Wofford @ SoFla. Sportsbyfletch will be following Wofford this season, especially because I know a Terrier HoFer these days. The Kicking Miners will travel to Tampa to play the Bulls and Matt Grothe is in his 19th year of eligibility. SoFla wins and Wofford's punting just hasn't been good since about 2004.

No.5 Bama v No.7 VaTech. If they were to have reranked the teams yesterday, I somehow doubt VaTech would still be No.7 with the runningback getting injured. Well not to worry, once Bama knocks out the Hokies, they'll sink like a rock. They'll fall faster than Bill Gillespie's chances of MCing a MADD conference. Honestly, how come VaTech keeps getting a pass on all the crappy stuff that happens with their alumni? The Vick boys....Drunkenmiller....Corey Moore...I guess because Beamer has a thing on his neck, people feel bad. I'm just kidding, Beamer is a nice guy. I met him once and he was a nice guy. Too bad he is a Hokie. And thank goodness Georgia hired CMR instead of Beamer. I couldn't take Beamerball at UGA. And by Beamerball I mean the recipe to winning football games: solid running game, limit the opponent's ground attack, win the special teams battle. That isn't Beamerball....that's how you win a football game! Call it Floridaball too. And LSUball and USCBall...

Maryland @ No.12 Cal. How come no one is talking about how much these two schools hate each other? Last season Maryland schedules the game at noon so Cal feels like it is 9am when they play. Now Cal schedules it for 7pm PST, which is 10pm EST, aka my bedtime. Come on children, play nice. At least Maryland coach has more time to hit up the pregame spread with the late start time......HA! Crabcakes and football, that's what Maryland does? Well The Terps lose this one to the Fighting Sandys.

Miami @ #18 FSU. How about that? The Criminoles are No.18 to start the season. WOW. good for FSU! if you had told me back in 1999 (just ten years ago) that FSU would be GLAD to come in at No.18 in the preseason, I would have thought, NO F-ING WAY. And Miami is unranked once again and with a dolt as its head coach? Not to worry Hurricane fans, Tommy Tuberville is just one 5-7 season away. And it is coming....Take the Noles at home BY A FIELD GOAL!

LOCK OF THE WEEK.....No.11LSU @ Washington. You know what they say about going on the road in the Pac10. Wait, they don't say anything about ti. Nevermind. LSU rolls, QB issues and all. Sorry Steve Sarkessia- however you spell your last name.

Upset of the Week...Baylor @ Wake. I am on the Robert Griffin bandwagon, was last year and am still this season. As good as I think Riley Skinner is (the best QB in the ACC after last night when Russell Wilson laid a major turdbomb), RG is better. Baylor goes INTO the smallest stadium that a BCS team calls home and the Baylor Bears head back to Waco with a W.

Local rooting interest....
Jacksonville State @ No.15 GT. So the Techies didn't feel like doing a home-and-home. Instead they made JaxState come to the flats twice in a row. This time Ryan Perrilloux stayed in Alabama. So the tiny chance that the Gamecocks had just got UPSed to neverneverland (no, not Michael Jackson's ranch, but Peter Pan's hometown). Ryan will never learn and the Techsters roll to a 35-7 win.

No.13 Georgia @ #9 Okie State. The Fighting Pierces host the Georgia Bulldogs and I will leave this comment section to one Paul Mac. I understand what people like about Oklahoma State. I get it. But seriously. They are giving Georgia 5.5 (which is really 8.5) pts going into Stillwater....Really? I've never really considered this game to be in question. I expect Georgia to win it outright by around 7-10 pts mainly because of the defense. I'm not really understanding what other people don't see about that. All the elements involved, Mark Richt 34-3 in non conference games.... what is so intoxicating about a team that went 9-4?

AJ Green didn't know the offense last year had a pulled groin and he was the best receiver on the field better than 4 year starter Massaquoi for the bulk of the year. Moore won a game, Tavarres King has made some plays.... I guess he is mainly saying thin because the bulk of the depth this year will be true freshmen and less tested underclassmen. They have plenty of guys that can play though.
I am going to say that I am thinking my new gameday shirt and undies will help the Dawgs pull out a 31-17 victory. O-line and D-Line is where this game is won....Georgia's lines are better than Okie State's. But we'll see tomorrow!

Go Dawgs and have a great Labor Day weekend everybody! Back on Tuesday!