Midweek entertainment report 9/9/09

One fatty down and one more to go, Pitch pipes ready?, queue the music, Barney Fife and Tila Tequila?, and can someone STOP the Jacksons?

Ladies and gentlemen, the 9/9/09 midweek entertainment report!

shrieks of pleasure!

Wow, not sure I deserved a Beatles like welcome, though remember to stop by and pick up RockBand/GuitarHero (same thing) with the Beatles music. Not sure why...they were never much of the hard rock types. Don't know that it would be that hard to "videogame-play" their music. OH, I have a better idea. Get a REAL GUITAR and learn the band's music FOR REAL! That will REALLY impress girls at college. Let me break it to you. The chicks in college don't think your ability to play guitar hero is that impressive. JUST SAYING!

Moving on to More to Love. Fat Luke cut Fay Mandy last night after telling the 25-year-old he could see himself married to her. APPARENTLY NOT. I also thought it was funny that he told Tali that he found himself encompassed by her whenever he was around her. Well, as they say, "When your mom sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!" I also had to laugh when Fat Luke took all of the girls to his room for dessert and Tali clearly wanted sex, Fat MAlissa looked a bit offended like perhaps she was ONLY in the game to win and not for love so she barely kissed him and prolly got out of there when he went to go BM. Finally, Mandy and Fat Luke went on a boat and I was afraid we'd have the a scene from 20,000 Leagues under the sea when the squid takes over the boat. Eventually, Fat Luke keeps MAlissa, who doesn't really like him and cuts obsessive Mandy. Probably a good move, as long as he picks Tali, because she actually likes him. On a side note, Wifey and I were able to correctly predict 78% of the episode's dialogue and we were considering applying to write the next season of the show.

GLEE returns tonight. VERY EXCITING. a freaking show about show choir?! Are you kidding me? I am PUMPED about that show. I might even break out the white pants I wore when I was in my high school's show choir. Very excited.

So You Think you Can Dance is also back, and quickly I may add. I guess you can never get too much Cat Deeley. Hey Cat, let's just try not to wear ugly outfits this season. Please? And if we could just forget that Joshua ever won season4, that would be great too!

I almost fell off of my hotel bed when I heard that LIGHTS OUT Shawne Merriman, likely in a fit of roid rage, reportedly choked and contained Tila Tequila over the weekend and she had him Citizens Arrested. That's the part that made me laugh. Well that and the fact taht Shawne Merriman is having Jersey's sloppy 9849ths. LMFAO, if you will. But Merriman's camp is saying that he was trying to prevent her from leaving while she was drunk. I say he should have let her leave and get in a car and then Citizens Arrest HER for DUI. Seriously, she had him citizens arrested? Are you kidding me? You are 270lbs. She weighs, what 93? He couldn't outrun her or just LEAVE when she tried to citizens arrest him. (Sorry, but I just HAVE to use that as a verb or a jerund/gerund however you spell it) Shawne, I hate to say that you brought this on yourself, but you know how crazy those MTV/VH1 love show girls can be. Look at that New York chick. CRAZY!

Finally, hey Jacksons, if you REALLY wanted your privacy, you would have told the media to F-off right after MJ died, had your funeral and not told the press or TMZ or MTV or E! ANY OF IT. But you LOVE the spotlight. You guys know you do. You cannot live without it. That's why the father made the kids go into business at that young of an age. They NEED the attention. You want the press to stay out of it? Take measures to make certain it does. Don't let E! into your private memorial service. Don't have 19 different services. It is easy. Just admit you guys are media whores and quit pretending you don't want to attention.

That's it. Have a great rest of the week and look out for my thoughts on the Atlanta Sports Media tomorrow!