The Dancing Lineup is announced, the Boys sing on American Idol and Lindsay Lohan is seen nekked! Oh, the midweek entertainment report is HOT, Baby!
(I can't really pull off the BABY, can I? I didn't think so)
I see where Dancing with the Stars has released the cast of this season's show. (Note, I don't watch this show, but I do love me some So You Think You Can Dance. I like SYTYCD because it ISN'T b-list celebs trying so hard not to slip to C or D status.)
Anyways, Priscilla Presley has signed on because Naked Gun fame is Fleeting, I guess.
-Also Mario is on board. I am assuming it is the R&B singer and not the game guy. Because he is a cartoon.
-Penn Jillette will hope his moves are magically on the floor...get it? Magically? He is a magician? HA! Not really
-Kristi Yamaguchi has already won gold on the ice skating rink, but how will she do OFF the skates? I would have preferred Tonya Harding. Or Nancy Kerrigan, then if she got voted off, we could have seen her go, "Why ME? Why NOW? WHY?" Or maybe Tonya could have clubbed someone else going into the final two. Endless
-Monica Seles, who just RECENTLY retired from tennis. I certainly hope not for THIS! I wonder if she will grunt while dancing?
-Steve Guttenberg. Yeah. I am actually surprised he qualified as a "star"
-Marissa Jaret Winoker is apparently a Tony award winning actress. So she does musicals for a living? Hmmmmm I wonder how fair that is.
-Adam Carolla will be one of the first voted off, but he should be funny. Actually, I wonder how his Man Show audience feels about his doing a dancing show?
-Shannon Elizabeth is officially making the circuit of Post-topless movie debut. Let's see......Celebrity Poker Tour, Dancing with the Stars, I can see her doing Hollywood squares soon, followed by a reality show on VH1, before going to Cinemax and doing softcore porn. Yep, that's what happens when you peak too soon. and by peak, I mean take your top off in a teen movie.
-Marlee Martin-the deaf actress from West Wing and Seinfeld. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This show brings on a chick with only one leg, now a deaf woman? CAN SHE HEAR THE MUSIC? HOW WILL THIS WORK?
-Christian de la Fuente-WHO?
-Jason Taylor is a football player with a HOT wife. Let's hope he sticks around, so they will show a shot of HER in the audience.
I am sure this show will get big ratings, but I am SURE I won't be watching. Instead, I'll be hooked to .....
American Idol's first semi-final round was held last night. we have 12 boys and 12 girls that we will winnow down to 6 each for our Final 12. Well the Boys went last night, and if I can quickly recap....
-David Her-Nan-DEZ went first. Kind of boring
-Jacuzzi-terrible suit, boring song. I thought you were gone, but
-Daniel Noriega did Elvis. Terrible.
-We also had a 28 year old dad go and we KEEP seeing shots of his 8 year old kid. He will get a pitty vote here.
-Also the Other gay guy went and ALSO did Elvis, but his wasn't as bad as Daniel's.
-The 17 year old kid that Smiled a bunch (David Archuletta?) was REALLY good. He has a HUGE voice for being 16/17. but after a while, all the smiling was a tad annoying.
-ANother guy did a "forgettable song" but he promised that folks would be talking about it today. DUDE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME.
-We also had a wanna be rocker that did a pretty good version of One is the loneliest number. pretty good.
-A 17 year old "hippie" complete with Child molester mustache then would have put me to sleep, except I was afraid his brother would come to my house and challenge me to a knife fight. I guess Ohio DOES have trailer parks
-Lastly Dredlock went and did a REALLY good job with a guitar, until it fell apart at the end. At first, it was REALLY good, but then towards the end, when he stumbled, it sounded like he was singing at a frat party social
-Oh, And Michael Johns the Aussie from Atlanta, now living in LA brought the house down with Light My Fire. My pick to win it all.
I know I am missing someone. Obvie very memorable (rrrrrrrrrrright) but I don't think he is in danger of going home. I think the child molester crustache and Danny the Gay Elvis are both seeing the exit.
Finally Lindsay Lohan was recently photoed recreating the famous "Last Photos" of Marilyn Monroe, a few days before she killed herself. Lindsay wore a blond wig and was mostly nekked, except for some jewels and hair and sheets. Here is the strange thing though....Lindsay didn't know it was an official shoot. She just thought it was a typical Tuesday. Just kidding. Maybe.
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