Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Midweek Entertainment report 8/12/09

Simon to stick around, PC heads to college, Luke is a manwhore, Vick to appear on 60 Minutes and Octomom to be featured on Fox. Yep, sounds about right.

Ladies and gentlemen, the midweek entertainment report!

THUNDEROUS applause

Fox announced that despite the loss of Paula (no REAL loss there), the heart of the show Simon will be around for three more seasons. The show without Simon would be like NewsRadio with Phil Hartman. He is THE HEART AND SOUL of the show, despite what anyone says and he CANNOT be replaced by Jon Lovitz or Gordon Ramsey or any other semi-critical person. Simon makes the show, moreso than any of the idols, so locking him in, even if it IS for $45M per season, is WORTH IT. Good job Fox, the only bad part is who will Simon make fun of now? OH YEAH, KARA!

NYC Prep came to an end last night (mercifully) and Jessi decided to be an uber-beyotch in her final episode. She hosted and then walked out on a dinner party, likely sticking PC with the bill (so would HE have saved HER ass there? You know, since she always saves his.....), then she went off on Camile when Camile (how do you spell that name?) was trying to volunteer for Operation Smile. I can see Jessi's argument to a point: If you really want to get involved, why didn't you try harder? but Camille, why did you keep going to Jessi? (Oh, Bravo told you to. Gotcha!) She wasn't the end-all, be-all of Operation Smile. (And if she was, ouch, I feel bad for that organization...) I'm SURE someone was above her that would LOVE to have someone try and help out. Just saying. But in the last 45 seconds we find out that PC got into a college that NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD OF in LA. Good for him. And I love that Jessi is going to F.I.T. Isn't that where Lisa Turtle went? I didn't think that was real.

On More to Love, Luke continued to be a fat, sober version of Joe Namath when he tried to kiss Suzy Kolber. This dude is a man-whore to the extreme. All he does is try and kiss women. It is crazy. He is preying on the fat chicks and then he gets rid of two decent girls to keep the crazy Kristian and the nausiating Melissa B. What is he thinking, unless it is to make next week's cuts easier. One more note on last night's show, I am sure the two horses, if they could talk, would have said, "Helllllllllllll, naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" when Luke and Heather walked up. Oh, one last note: how funny was Danielle and Luke's date when he takes her to a seafood restaurant and she reveals that she doesn't eat seafood. (that must be the ONLY thing ;) ) Anyways, she certainly piled in the food.

The Real World Cancun returns tonight with NO JOEY. Will I watch? probably to see if all of the roommates turn on Ayiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiia in honor of Joey. They should. She is trying to call it a victory that she stayed and he left? If MTV wanted they could have sent her to a psych ward after she cut herself. They sent Ruthie to a drunktank.

Michael Vick will appear on 60 minutes and be interviewed by....James Brown. WOW. Was Stu Scott busy? Could Mike Tirico not remove himself from Tiger Woods's jock for the interview? Do we HONESTLY think JB will play hardball or will he just lob softballs to Vick. I'm guessing the latter because Vick's people will make it that way. We won't get anything along the lines of "So did you get any pleasure out of watching dogs kill each other?" "Did you laugh when YOU killed dogs?" "What were you thinking when you, as a grown adult who WAS old enough to know better, got caught and then lied about it to your team's owner and the commissioner of the league you play in?" "You know this is wrong, correct? Oh, you mean just because you are from 'the dirty south' (which Virginia is NOT BTW), it is OK to kill dogs? I mean, they're just dogs, right? Kind of like a pedophile might say, "Well they're just kids, they can't vote or drink..." Nope, I bet we'll get, "Michael, are you sorry? YOU ARE? Well, good for you!"

Finally, The Octomom will be on Fox. SHOCKER. I bet no one saw that coming...and by "no one" I mean EVERYONE. As much as I love Fox, I had really thought it had moved on from the "We'll do anything to attract viewers!" schtick. They have House, 24, Bones, American Idol, SYTYCD, Simpsons, Family Guy, Fringe...they have so many positive reasons to watch, why stoop back to "Humans v Animals!"? But the Octomom is appearing on TV (something I thought she said she would NEVER DO!) and in the promo she says, "I think I might have messed up my kids' lives!" YOU THINK!? Stupid.

Have a great rest of the week. Big 11 Commissioner Paul Mac's preview of the "power conference" is coming up later this week. He also wanted to point out that Michael Tamburo of North Gwinnett-fame, threw 2 TDs in his first three passes at Boise State summer practice. He looked it up on the Idahoian Statesman web site. The BODY, ladies and gentlemen!

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