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Wait, this just in: Urban Meyer is back OUT as head coach of Florida because the wind shifted. The Florida Gators head coach announced last weekend over the Christmas weekend that he was resigning as head football coach and ESPN, predictably, went off of the deep end. Announcers of bowl games stopped calling the games (Pitt and UNC fans were probably peeved that the Meineke Car Care Bowl wasn’t getting its just due) and the studio guys were of course up in arms over the decision. Slowly Saturday night during the Emerald Bowl between USC and BC, updates were leaking in on the crawl at the bottom of the screen to where perhaps the Emerald Bowl might just have been the biggest, ratings-wise, to date. Chris Mortensen was revealing that Meyer had a problem with a heart valve and a reporter in Houston somehow got a quote from the family that they were happy to have Meyer back as a member of the family. Meyer himself said that he needed to step away to focus on his family and his faith, not to mention his health.

In less than 24 hours, all of that changed. Apparently after a “spirited practice,” the coach was sitting with his strength and conditioning coach, looking at the championship banners (and probably reading reports that high school commits were thinking about decommitting) and Meyer pulled a hokey-pokey. In his best Billy Donovan impression, Meyer decided that he could NOT step away permanently and scaled back his situation to just a leave of absence. Meyer said that he couldn’t possibly think of the Florida Gator program taking a step back and the school not doing things “The Urban Meyer Way.” (PS, this just in, Meyer found $20 in a pair of pants he hadn’t worn in 6 months and he’s decided to return!) ESPN likely exhaled a huge sigh of relief and immediately started reporting this over its NFL coverage and of course all throughout the pregame for the Music City Bowl.

Several of the media types have gone against the grain and tried to take Meyer to task for the flipflop, which, knowing Meyer, means they won’t be welcome to cover Florida and instead sit with Shane Matthews in Section 34F. CNNSI.com’s Stewart Mandel wondered in a Monday column if Meyer is pulling a Coach K from the 1994-95 season when the coach missed the season to have back surgery. The missing season also just so happened to coincide with the Blue Devils worst season since he arrived in Durham. With Tebow leaving as well as likely multiple defections to the pros from the defense AND his defensive coordinator bolting for the Louisville head job, could Meyer have been using the heart valve as an excuse for a potential rebuilding year? Probably not, but after saying family was important why is the man going back on that to return to the profession that has caused him all of the stress that put him in the hospital multiple times since the SEC Championship game? ESPN’s Adam Schefter, filling in on Mike and Mike in the Mornings, wondered the same thing, and even compared Meyer to Brett Favre with the “will-he-or-won’t-he” only on a WAY more serious level.

I hope Meyer is healthy and if he is, please return. It just seems strange how one practice can get you to switch your course of action from resigning to be with your family to all of a sudden go back into the stress pit of coaching. But the publicity has certainly given the Gators the spotlight this bowl season. I bet Lane Kiffin is thinking about pulling the stunt next.

Oh, this just in: Urban is back out as coach because he the maid in his New Orleans hotel didn’t offer turndown service. Wait, Breaking News…Meyer is back in after getting a BOGO at Payless.

Finally, how funny is it that most of the folks calling for the Colts to rest Peyton Manning and the rest of the starters are now leading the charge now that the coaches pulled the weapons against the Jets and the team ended up losing 29-15? Colts coach Jim Caldwell was darned it he did and then again even if he didn’t. Manning and the rest of the offense was pulled with about 5 minutes to go in the third quarter last week against the Jets and the Colts saw a 15-10 lead quickly turn into a 29-15 loss. Monday morning, people were ripping the Colts, several people who over the last few weeks were calling for Indy to rest Peyton for fear on injury. These experts need to realize that fans are smart enough to remember their stance from just 10 days ago and we can call them on it. You wanted Peyton to rest to avoid injury, so Caldwell did that and now you are killing him for it? I hope you are judged in the same vein boys.

Wait, Urban is out again after his dry cleaning was not ready in one hour. Oh, no, he’s back in now after finding a Pepsi vending machine in the hotel lobby.