Before we get to the Bowl picks (the REAL bowls, you know, since Christmas has passed. PS, I hope everybody had a great Christmas break. SBF certainly did), we here at SportsbyFletch have some breaking news: Urban Meyer's dry cleaning was not ready in one hour and he's decided to resign.
Wait, he just found a Pepsi Machine and bought a caffeine-free Diet Pepsi. He's back as head coach for 2010.
I was waiting to do the Bowl picks until after Christmas since I don't really count the ones prior to Feliz Navidad as real. I missed out on giving my picks of Clemson over UK, USC over BC and Pitt over UNC (as well as Marshall over Ohio) so you'll just have to take my word that I really did pick those results. With no further ado, the Bowl picks. (Wait, this just in....Urban Meyer's cab was cut off on the way to the practice field today. He's decided to resign.)
(And for more of my Urban musings, as well as my take on it, I'll post that tomorrow as I went all out on it for Score Atlanta.)
Independence Bowl: TAMU v Georgia. OK OK, I'm a homer. But come on. Did Georgia really deserve to go to the Independence Bowl? No. (Well, you might argue that they did because the team lost AT HOME to Kentucky.) Texas A&M doesn't deserve to be on the same field as Georgia. That said, TAMU will give the Dawgs a game because Joe Cox and company don't feel like they should be in Northern Lousisana just a few days after Christmas. But if Georgia just runs the ball like it did against GT (and after watching several of TAMU's games this season, their defense isn't one.) the Dawgs should cruise to a boring win. Georgia fans are now just counting down the calendar until the second week of January when a De-Coor is hired. PS, I'm a little bummed that Urban is coming back. I heard that he was walking down the street and found a dime on the ground. He decided to return!
EagleBank: UCLA V Temple. Al Golden's Owls are excited to be here. You know the fellas at UCLA are a little disappointed. Is this what Rickie Neu meant when he said he was going to take UCLA to new places? The EagleBank Bowl? I have to think that Golden will want this one to add to the resume so he can eventually take over the Penn State job. "Temple's first bowl win since Jimmy Carter" might look pretty impressive.
BREAKING NEWS: URBAN MEYER HAS A HEAD ACHE. He is OUT as coach of Florida.
Champs: 15 miami v 25 Wisconsin. Did I read that correctly? Wisconsin is ranked? The team that eeked by Northern Illinois and then needed OT to dispatch Frezno!? The team that fell to Northwestern? Ladies and gentlemen, Badger football! How the mediocre have fallen. I'll take Miami in this one because Randy Shannon will want to prove that he's the third best coach in the state of Florida (behind Jimbo and O'Leary and Leavitt but ahead of the two F_U schools). Wait, make that fourth best. Urban decided to return because Smoothie King now has Peanut Power Plus in chocolate flavor!
Blue Turf Bowl: Bowling Green v Idaho. SBF will be honest here: we don't know much about either of these two teams. Wait, I DO know that Idaho had the slutty cheerleading outfits a few seasons back. And wasn't Idaho ranked at one point this season? Let's go with the Vandals here. Because of slutty cheerleader outfits.
Holiday Bowl: 20 Arizona v 22 Nebraska. Arizona's stud QB Nick Foles is apparently over his broken hand. As important as that is, did you see what Suh did to Colt McCoy? Yeah, you don't think he won't do that to Arizona's offense too? I'm taking Nebraska in this one. You have to wonder though, if Suh was that dominant against Texas, how come he didn't do that the rest of the year? And why didn't get any help from the rest of the defense or the offense and Nebraska have a better finish? I'm still on the Huskers train here though.
Armed Forces Bowl: AFA v Houston. Nothing says ARMED FORCES quite like the Houston Cougars. Seriously though, you have the Air Force (who run the ball a lot. Ground attack for the Air Force? Huh?) against the Air attack of Case Keenum. I like the Cougars here as they knocked off Okie State, back when the Pokes were using the illegal player.
BREAKING NEWS! SBF is now reporting that Urban Meyer is re-resigning because he's upset that the Subway Melt is NOT included in the $5 footlong deal.
Sun Bowl: Oklahoma v 21 Stanford. No Andy Luck, but Toby Gerhart IS playing, which means he'll do to the Sooner defense what he did to USC, Oregon, Notre Dame, etc. The return of the white running back. Wow. Brett Millican would be happy. I'm going with the Cardinal (not the Cardinals, Pollack. The Cardinal. The mascot isn't a bird)
Texas Bowl: Navy v Mizzou. The Midshipmen are coming off a big win over Army AND they beat Notre Dame and took Ohio State to the wire. Mizzou meanwhile DOESN'T have Chase Daniel anymore (I wonder if he sits in a one bedroom apartment with a six pack of beer every Saturday morning and yells at GameDay, I'm here. You can interview me! The cartoon animals around him get scared....) Go with Navy.
Insight Bowl: Iowa State v Minnesota. So was Gene Chizik THAT bad of a coach that Paul Rhodes came in and immediately took them to a bowl or did he just get the cupboard ready for Rhodes? Either way, Iowa State loses to Minnesota.
BREAKING NEWS: Urban Meyer is reportedly headed back to Florida because he had a change of heart after opening up his latest issue of Esquire and liking the scent of the Cool Water cologne ad. He applied the ad to his neck and then announced his return.
Chick-Fil-A: VaTech v Tennessee. Lane Kiffin must be stewing in Knoxvegas that his Orange Ladies aren't the talk of the pregame shows. He is now thinking about potentially resigning. The only thing is, if he DOES, it isn't a lock that Tennessee will let him back into his old job. As for this game, take VaTech. Beamerball wins this one. And can someone ask Jabari Davis if he is doing color commentary for the Vols Radio Network during this game?
Outback Bowl: Northwestern v Auburn. AUBURN IS IN THIS GAME? OVER GEORGIA? Well, if the Dawgs had just beaten UK, I'd be waking up in Arizona at 8:45 for this game. Oh well. Now I can sleep in and miss this barnburner. And by barnburner I mean THE MOST BORING GAME OF THE ENTIRE BOWL SEASON. I'm taking Northwestern because Auburn isn't very good. Even Joey Bagodonuts admits as much.
CapitalOne Bowl: 13Penn State v 12 LSU. Penn State gets an early TD because Les Miles didn't manage the pregame meal correctly and the team is 45 seconds late, allowing Penn State to score first. Seriously though, LSU is without Charles Scott (wish he had missed the last 4 minutes in Athens!) and they barely knocked off Arkie. Do I REALLY think they beat Penn State? Because I DON'T want the wrath of Cake, I'll go with PSU. (Even though I think LSU wins.)
Gator Bowl. 16 West Va v FSU. Bobby Bowden's final game. You think FSU is going to lose this one? Seriously? Even if some one with an IQ higher than a rubber plant was on the sidelines I'd give this to the Noles. But Bill Stewart is calling the shots for the Neers, West Va is screwed.
Rose: 8 Ohio State v 7 Oregon. I am rooting for Ohio State because Buckeye fans are unreal and I don't want to hear them calling for the heads of Pryor and/or Tressel after this one (don't they realize how good they have it? Tressel ALWAYS beats Michigan and ALWAYS has them in a BCS Bowl. What more do you want?) But Oregon wins this one because they are athletic and like an SEC team. We know how tOSU does against the SEC........
Sugar: 3 Cincy v #5 Florida. Interim coach for Cincy v Tim Tebow in his final game with Urban Meyer who has decided BECAUSE HE LOVES THESE KIDS (more than his own, apparently), he is returning. Anyway Florida loses this one? Not a CHANCE. Prediction: Tebow cries afterwards and Urban shares a LONG embrace with Tebow...to the point that Jake Gyllenhaal screams copyright infringement!
International Bowl: SoFla v Northern Illi. Really? Toronto needs a bowl? With THESE two teams? Um, take the team whose coach BEATS his players.
Cotton Bowl: 19 Okie State v Ole Miss. Okie State had such high expectations, but then they cheated and karma bit them in the backside. TAKE THAT POKES! Illegal players will cost ya! I'm taking Ole Miss and Jevan Snead back in his home state.
Breaking News: Urban is back OUT as coach due to the fact that he saw litter on the side of the road and decided to devote his life to picking up trash.
Papajohns.com bowl: SoCar v UConn. South Carolina will run and run and run with its stable of back and Eric Norwood will earn a first round selection with a big game against an overmatched UConn. Huskies fans will take heart in the fact that it is Women's basketball season.
BREAKING NEWS: Urban is BACK IN as coach after he was inspired by watching Eric Taylor's halftime speech in the season finale of FNL Season one.
Liberty Bowl: Arkansas v ECU. Bobby Petrino will try to sneak out during halftime to take the Florida job only to realize that Urban never left. Crap. Now he is denying and Mallet says "Screw this. I'm going to the pros." He will be taken in the first round...by Carolina. Hogs win.
Alamo Bowl: Michigan State v Texas Tech. Sparty is missing 87 players apparently. Texas Tech still has Mike Leach. DONE. Red Raiders.
Fiesta Bowl: 6 Boise State v 4 TCU. I LOVE that the BCS people gave the finger to the mid-majors and pitted these two against each other. LOVE IT! In fact, to show my appreciation for the BCS for doing this, I won't pick this game. No one will be watching anyways.
Orange Bowl: 10 Iowa v 9 GT. I remember the last time a TALENTED team had over a month to prepare for this offense. LSU crushed the Yellow Jackets. LSU has FAR more talent than Iowa and was able to OUTAthlete Tech. Iowa meanwhile probably doesn't have as good players as Tech, but they play disciplined assignment football and that will be enough. Iowa WILL have Stanzi back too, so I like the Hawkeyes. But maybe I'm biased.
oooooooooooooooppps, Breaking News: Urban Meyer didn't like the flavor of soup offered in the lunch buffet line and he's decided to re-resign from the Gators.
GMAC Bowl: Troy v Central Michigan. CMU is without its coach, who took the Cincy job, but the REAL question about this game is: Why isn't it being played at the Georgia Dome? I know CMU has a campus right off 285 near Chamblee-Dunwoody Road and Troy has a Sandy Spring campus. Are those students eligible? Will the winner face the University of Phoenix? I'm taking Troy
CBS Title Game: 2 Texas v 1 Bama. After watching the Tide ROLL Florida and Colt McCoy eek out a win over Nebraska, really? I know the underdog usually does well, but COME ON. The SEC v the Big12...we saw this last year. This year we'll see Julio Jones, Trent Richardson, Greg McElroy, Rolando McClain, Mount Cody and OH YEAH, Heisman winner Mark Ingram take apart Mack Brown's Longhorns. Sorry Hook-em fans. The Tide is High. Bama will win. (PS, if McCoy though Suh was a beast, meet T Cody...)
There it is. Have a great holiday week and SBF will be here until Thursday! PS, we are hearing that Urban will RETURN to the Gators after he received a new pair of comfy socks from Santa in his stocking!
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