Midweek entertainment report 6/10/09

Lambert comes out, Bret Michaels attends the Tonys?, Jermaine Dupri creates the Black Pack, Britney goes touring while Lauryn drops out, Will Ferrell goes the way of Jim Carrey, Paris looks for a BFF or a lezbinen?, Eddie Murphy sinks lower and the redhead is still hot in Mental.

Ladies and gentlemen, the MIDWEEK ENTERTAINMENT REPORT!

CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP!

(PS, I am sticking to entertainment reporting today because a Georgia Tech fan took 8 seconds away from his D&D game to tell me I know nothing about college football. Right, the guy with his own sports radio talk show knows less about college football than a guy with a pocket protector. But I am sure he's right, ONLY because he disagrees with me. I am still waiting for him to tell me where the Tech pass rush is going to come from...)

In the recent Rolling Stone, American Idol runnerup Adam Lambert acknowledges his homosexuality and also confirmed that the sky is blue and 2+2=4. Apparently he roomed with Kris in the AI mansion and found the eventual winner cute. Well, WHO DIDN'T? I don't have a problem with Adam being gay and I don't think it is a story. The guy is a great freaking performer. Will I ever buy his album, probably not, but I don't remember the last album I bought. Linkin Park, maybe? John Mayer perhaps. I'd see him on broadway though. They guy is an entertainer.

Speaking of Broadway, Bret Michaels (I am assuming the guy from Rock of Love?) apparently broke his nose at the Tony Awards. I must ask, WHY WAS THE GUY FROM ROCK OF LOVE at the Tonys? Was Whitesnake making a musical? Was Rock of Love Bus being turned into an off-off-off-off-broadway play?

The AJC is reporting that Jermaine Dupri is trying to form the 2009 version of The Rat Pack with Atlanta rappers that take weekly visits to Vegas, Baby, Vegas. Yeppers, I am thinking that JD fancies himself as Frank with Lil Bow Wow as Peter, Nelly as Deano and Johnta Austin as Joey Bishop. Trey Songz can be Sammy and Brian-Michael Cox can be the "other guy" from the original rat pack that no one has heard of, since NO ONE has heard of him. Ever think to include Usher? Oh, wait, he'd be the biggest (READ: ONLY) star of the group. Nevermind.

Valtrex sales have spiked in Sydney and Perth as Britney Spears announced she will tour Australia for the first time. Yep, the Circus is going down undah! I am surprised she has never been to Australia before. After eating the Aussie Chips cheese fries and ranch at Outback I almost booked a trip. In a related story, Lauryn Hill has annouced that she will cancel her European Tour. My question is, Lauryn Hill is still touring? Does she sing Fugees songs or does she sing That Thing? Ready or not, Here I come.........psych!

Land of the Lost, starring Will Ferrell bombed at the movies last weekend. So has American finally put Ferrell into the Jim Carrey category of "Yeah, he used to be funny, but that one-trick pony got old quick!"? I guess people realized that Ferrell plays the same guy in all of the movies, kind of like how Carrey was Ace Ventura in all of his flicks. That's a shame because Ferrell was funny in Anchorman and Ricky Bobby. Too bad his schtik got tired. Stepbrothers? Ugh. Semi-Pro, just stop it.

When I went to see The Hangover, there was a preview for The Final Destination. Do you PROMISE that this is the final one? PLEASE? because I am not sure how much longer you can remake the EXACT SAME MOVIE! Maybe we should ask Ferrell and Carrey....

Eddie Murphy's movie Imagine That opens up this Friday. Watch out discount DVD rack at Wal-Mart, EDDIE MURPHY IS COMING!

Did you catch Mental with David Carradine last night? I didn't pay attention much to the story, but did you see the redhead in the purple top? WOW. She just keeps getting hotter. PS, Carradine is of course the guy from Kill Bill that was recently found dead hanging in his closet. This story is sad as the family is claiming that he would never attempt suicide even though he admitted he has tried before. I don't want to say it was suicide, but I can't see it being foul play. Maybe it was an accident, but what the F was he doing, hanging himself in the closet? Was he practicing for a role and it went horribly wrong? We may never know. What we DO know though, is the redhead is a hottie.

Have you heard the new All-American Rejects "When the Wind Blows" yet? Nice to hear something by them OTHER than Gives you Hell. Hey Q100, you guys ARE allowed to play other songs by a certain artist. And Bert, you ARE allowed to play music too...

Finally, Paris Hilton continued her search for a new BFF last night, but the strange thing is that it seemed for the first 20 minutes, she was searching for a lezbinen lovah. The potential BFFs were divided into two groups: the Leather and the Lace. Paris tickled the Lace girls (and guy) and whipped/spanked the Leather girls. This was part of an initiation into the Paris Sisterhood sorority. Speaking of the lone male Stephen, he said in a confessional that he was going to have to teach some of these girls what a sisterhood was all about. I'll take a minute and let that sink in... OK, let's move on.
Interestingly enough, all of the Leather girls said they enjoyed getting whipped and some wanted to spank Paris. I think those chicks were getting the 10pm Tuesday MTV time slot confused with A Shot at Love, which airs in the same slot. Oops. Wrong show.
Later the initiation included doing a mixed drink shot that consisted of champagne, pickles, strawberries, peanut butter and caviar. Desirae aka the other black chick (besides Tiniecia) is not a fan of caviar. "Oh great, Caviar. I'm gonna have to poo tonight." you cannot make this stuff up (Unless you write for the Hills.) It seems like Tiniecia was right there with Desirae though as she vomited up the shot, but was happy that Paris "Calt [her] name" to be Paris's first pet. I figure that my dog Chimer vomits when he eats too much grass and he's my pet. I guess that's Paris's reasoning.
The BFFs then get "dolled up to make sure [they] look hot for a bachlor party," according to Monica, but she is barely able to say it as her eyebrows appear to have taken over her face. Later, Monica decides to get drunk and give the groom-to-be a lap dance with her boobs hanging out of her dress. The dance is very sloppy and by sloppy I mean nasty. But the Lap dancer is then shocked that Arika kissed the groom. Umm, you rubbed your va-jay-jay on him and yet you think a kiss that HE ASKED FOR is wrong? You, Monica, and your eyebrows are wrong.
What is messed up though was that Arika was forced to apologize to the groom-to-be's mother about their making out the night before, EVEN THOUGH HE ASKED ALL OF THE GIRLS FOR A KISS. (Wait, that was his bride-to-be? She is 40 and he's 24ish. WTF?) Last time I checked Arika is the single one and homeboy is the one getting married. Shouldn't HE be the one that is apologizing?
This of course makes Kaitlin cry though, much like waking up makes Kaitlin cry and petting a puppy makes Kaitlin cry. She cries at everything. And she wonders why "no one likes [her] qualities!" She figures it is just jealousy because people are threatened by her. Her drunken crying does resemble Darth Vader in a way.
But the bottom line is that Arika and Monica both go home, Arika because Paris cannot trust her around her boyfriend and Monica b/c of her eyebrows, NO, because of the lap dance. Looking forward to next week's cupcake!

That's it everybody. Have a great rest of the week.

Finally, Happy 61st Birthday JWP. We all miss you.