Post #700, a Midweek entertainment report, of course!

We've reached post #700. I'd like to thank all 12 of my readers. Without you guys, this wouldn't have been possible. Actually, if would have been, but it would not have been any fun.

But let's get down to it, shall we?

Bravo XOXOs, Paris gets told to F-off, Bill Engvall gets a sign, TNT will lie to me, Ray is seeking more love, Artie Lange angling for the MTV VMA hosting gig and let's give Letterman a break....

Ladies and gentlemen, THE MIDWEEK ENTERTAINMENT REPORT

(Extended Clapping to honor the 700 posts.)

BREAKING NEWS....Sean Penn has dropped out of the Three Stooges movie as well as Cartel to focus on his family. Good for him to put movies on the backburner to focus on repairing his marriage and family. But the bigger question is, why was he even in the Three Stooges movie? Is Sean Penn funny? Milk, Not funny; Mystic River, not funny; I Am Sam, not funny (well maybe to some sick people who are going to hell). He wasn't even all that funny in that stretch of FRIENDS he did. Just saying. It might be better for the movie that he back out. Then the producers could get a funny people to be in it. Next let's hope Jim Carrey backs out!

As first reported on The Soup (Thanks Joel McHale!) Bravo will soon air NYC Prep, which is more of less the channel's version of Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, only it is the real-life Gossip Girl. You know you'll watch! XOXO, SBF.

Apparently Bill Engvall hosted the CMTs last night, and no one watched. Here's your sign Bill...that you're not relevant. Really, an awards show on a Tuesday night? Did you WANT no one to watch? Oh, I guess not, since you got Bill Engvall to host.

Speaking of shows no one watched last night...HawthoRNe debuted and you can expect TNT to begin lying about the viewer numbers rightttttttttttttttttttttttt NOW. We will be beaten over the head with "The Most Watched New Nurses Show on Basic Cable on TELEVISION!" Kind of like how they do with Saving Grace and The Closer. And can some one please let me know when NURSES shows became popular? A REAL doctor would fire a NURSE for doing what Jada Pinkett-Smith did in the promo. Just saying. You are a NURSE. Nothing wrong with that profession. Just saying, you are a nurse, not a doctor. (Also, speaking of doctors, I watched the pilot for that Royal Pains show on USA...pretty good thus far. If only I could find out when that character is welcome on a regular basis.)

Ice Age 4? Is Ray Romano hurting for cash? Is his ELR syndication deal not paying him like Seinfeld got? Or is he trying to stay relevant? Does F/X really not pay Denis Leary that much cash that he has to do this movie? Do kids even like this franchise? I think I just broke my record for consecutive questions that I set yesterday. YEAH!

Listen, I Love to defend Palin as much as the next guy that thinks she is hot for a politican, but she and her defenders need to get over themselves if they are STILL upset about Letterman's joke last week. YOU decided to put YOURSELF in the public light and your teenage daughter had a baby out-of-wedlock. Clearly Letterman was talking about the single mom and not the 14 year old that happened to be at the game. Get over it. He's apologized. Move on. Or are you pulling a Romano? Come on Sarah!

Artie Lange went off on the Joe Buck Show on Monday and wasn't funny. He would go on to say that the producers told him to be crazy, but even so, what were you thinking, Bro? You were crude and made everyone uncomfortable. I have to think that there is just ONE explanation....he knew that MTV was hosting the VMAs this September and the network apparently likes people to host that aren't funny (See: Andy Samburg)

Hey, did you catch Mental last night? MORE REDHEAD NEEDED PLEASE!

Finally, Paris was back looking for a best friend last night, and she busted out her new catchphrase "It's Huge." (Wifey tells me that she recently had a press conference to announce the new phrase. We here at Sportsbyfletch are still looking for our credential for the conference. Oh well...) How did she bust out, "It's Huge!"? Well by introducing a game where the BFFs would dig through a big cupcake to find one of three treats which ended up being a ring, a lap dance from Mike Onch, and a chance to pick someone for discussion. Nicole seemingly read my mind and said that Kristen might have an advantage because she could eat the cupcake to find the eggs. Nicole called fat girl Kristen "fat" and said that "honestly, she just isn't some one Paris would hang out with because she's fat."
Can she become a Sportsbyfletch Correspondent? PLEASE?
Katie, who is "Amy Winehouse riding a My Little Pony to a punk show" fabulous according to the prettiest man SBF has ever seen Stephen, got to pick some one up for discussion and she picks Desirae. Then she thinks Desirae might get physical with her over the selection. Katie sounds RACIST! Just kidding. not really.

After Santino's Brain started to bleed (don't know who he is, but he can be the SBF fashion correspondent if he wants to), Paris sends "bowhead" Katie and Fatty Kristen home. Katie takes her TTYN in stride and tells Paris "F*CK YOU!" This shocks some of the BFFs and one asks, "Who would say that to Paris?" Ummm, i am sure she hears that multiple times a day, everyday. Get real.

Have a great rest of the week everybody and can't wait for Cat Deeley and SYTYCD tonight. Holla!