Speidi gets out, Paris looks for a friend, the redhead is redhot, Conan debuts with a friend, Susan Boyle to the hospital, and Yahoo! give the real news.....
Ladies and gentlemen, the midweek entertainment report!
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Fourth time is the charm! Speidi finally left (after three aborted attempts) the jungle of "I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here!" All I can say is, I will now stop watching. As annoying as they were, they were the biggest stars on the show. They gave us such gems as Heidi's "I can't NOT have sex with you for three weeks!" as well as "Jesus was baptized." Thanks Heidi. They didn't leave though before Stephen Baldwin "baptized" Spencer in the river. And everyone was seemingly impressed with this.
Wait, is Stephen Baldwin an ordained minister? I did not realize. Oh he isn't? I guess I am the only one who realized this. No, that isn't true. Janice Dickinson also realized Spencer's dunking was a sham. Supermodel and supergenius!
Spencer also revealed the secret to his success and popularity: Prayer. He said he learned it from Heidi. According to Spence, everything she has truly wanted, she prayed for and received. So Spencer tried it out, praying for the ONE thing he really wanted: a double date with Miley Cyrus. Within a month, he got one. THAT IS SO STRANGE. I've prayed that the trailer trash idol would never go on a doubledate with myself and wifey because I don't want to be considered an accessory to statutory rape. She's 16. Her boyfriend is 20. ILLEGAL MUCH? Only in 39 states.
Moving on....
Paris Hilton began her search for her new BFF last night on MTV. Apparently Brittni had become a Hunger Tiger, so she needed a new friend. Oh course the token dude was there (Stephen) and apparently Zu came back, only she has a new name. We also have a fat chick who is "big and beautiful" according to herself. Really? Well in the first show we get to see her do a strip tease...twice. AWESOME. That is what I want to watch. Fat chicks stripping!
Speaking of stripping, part of the first challenge was Paris had the girls and guy (no, I was right the first time. the girls) go a pole dance down to their bathing suits. As Tinicia said though, "What girl hasn't dreamed of being on a pole?" Wifey immediatedly raised her hand.
The pole dancing though led to a bit of drama. One of the girls wasn't being classy enough to another one of the potential BFFs (sorry, I don't know their names yet.) "I was dancing on my pole with class. I wasn't showing my ass!" was a direct quote.
But the REAL drama came when the token "dude" Stephen started crying, saying he was afraid of the pole. Paris told him he didn't have to take his clothes off, just dance on the pole in front of the sea of men. But Stephen then let slip that he didn't have a problem with taking his clothes off, he was literally afraid of the pole. Maybe he was allergic? Paris wondered if Stevie was a drama queen and maybe he just "craves attention." REALLY? So this guy is Onch part two? Great!
Can't wait for next week!
The redhead chick from Mental has a name...Jacqueline McKenzie. WOW. she got even hotter last night. Plus she has a bit of a naughty side, the fling with the doctor...makes her even hotter. Not just the low cut top and tight trousers. Once again, can't wait for next week. As far as the show, enh, but she makes it worth watching. Jacky McKenzie. Get this chick her own show! Add her to House! You could cut Talb out. Have her along with 13, Olivia Wilde. Or she could transition her character over. She could work hand-in-hand with House. I like this idea.
Conan has moved over to LA and the Tonight Show. I see where Andy Richter has signed on to be his sidekick/announcer guy again. I am amazed Andy was available. Doesn't Fox want to give him a fourth sitcom pilot that doesn't get picked up? I guess they just gave his to Norm McDonald or John Goodman again. SWEET!
According to her brother Britain's Got Talent runnerup, and recent meanie, Susan Boyle has checked into a hospital for exhaustion, which is a medical term for expired 15 minutes of fame.
Finally, BREAKING NEWS FROM YAHOO!.com On the front page of its home page, Yahoo! has reported that the oldest Australian man has died. Thanks Yahoo! Almost as newswothy as Obama going to 5 guys burger and fries (thank you front page of ajc.com) Has the world REALLY run out of news?
Thanks everybody. Enjoy the rest of your week! And Cubs fans, you guys got quiet after the 8th inning of last night's game at the Ted. I hope that means you guys are just bandwagon jumpers. That bullpen blows! Try not to twist an ankle jumping off that bandwagon. And go back to work! Or is Chicago like Mexico and they take a 3 hour break in the middle of the day?
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