Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I don't know why these guys are even trying....

Granted it is early in the game and I missed the first episode (Wifey told me I didn't miss much) AND Fox rarely shows GOOD people, opting instead to show crappy ones and 4-star "generals" who sing about pants on the ground, but I haven't seen ANYONE yet that can crack the SBF top ten from American Idol history.

Am I embarrassed that I watch this show? No. I think there are some REALLY good singers every season and I like hearing new takes on songs (Chris Daughtry doing Walk The Line, David Cook doing Always Be My Baby and Hello, Kris Allen doing Heartless).

I am still trying to figure out why FOX decides NOT to show all of the finalist during the auditions show. Shoot, some of the shows are two hours long and are on three days a week. You can't bump one or two of the crappy singers or drop one or two of the sappy backstories to show the good ones? Fox already knows who makes it to the next few rounds, edit appropriately please.

I'm sure ONCE AGAIN we'll see very few of the really good ones before we get to Hollywood, which is a shame because it would be fun to be able to follow the eventual winner all the way from when they walked in to see the judges for the first time. But instead we get the trailer girl who will be gone after her first song in Hollywood. And we get the 62-year-old Pants on the ground guy. Funny-sorta-but come on.

Now then, on to Sportsbyfletch's top ten ON show and Following the show when their career started.

Top Ten AI performers WHILE on the show.
10. Kelly Clarkson. I didn't watch the show back then, but she won the first season. She had to have been good, right?
9.Blake. Call me a dork, but I thought his skat/rap/singing was pretty cool.
8.Fantasia. Her take of Summertime was haunting. Too bad she couldn't read. Too bad she came out with a song called babymama... but that song was good enough to put her on the list.
7.Clay Aiken. I never watched that season, but people say he was really good. He had fans called Claymates.
6.Chris Daughtry. So what if he stole almost everything from Live or the RHCP. He was a ROCKER and was everything that Constantine wished he could have been. Have you ever really loved a woman, Higher Ground, Walk the Line, all CLASSIC. This dude should have closed EVERY show that season. But Elliot and Taylor lasted longer? WTF? He is the classic example of what happens when some one locks up the title with 8 weeks left. People stop voting and the winner loses votes he should have locked up. His loss actually helped Idol in future seasons.
5. Jennifer Hudson. Upset of the century when she was voted off. I didn't think so at the time, but she owned Latoya London and Fantasia. What a crock that she was sent packing.
4. Carrie Underwood. So likeable and PS INCREDIBLY talented that this season was over once the top ten was announced. Bo had ZERO shot at the end.
3. David Archuleta. One song is all it took to put him on this list...Imagine. His version gave me chills even though his father could kick my butt.
2.David Cook. Dude was so creative in coming up with takes on Hello, Always be my Baby, Elenor Rigby and Little Sparrow. A REAL musician who could play his butt off and owned every song he did. Sorry to go Paula on you there
1. Adam Lambert. Now this isn't the ESPN-like "greatest ever" because it just happened and everyone has ADD and/or short-term memories and cannot remember two years ago. Nope, he was incredible, plain and simple. 4 performances that are in the Hall of Fame (Tracks of my tears, Mad World, Satisfaction, A Change is gonna come)

Top ten AI alums since leaving the show.
10. Adam Lambert. He kissed a guy on some awards show. You can tell he is GOING to explode eventually but I couldn't name one of his songs right now. He'll go off though. Don't worry.
9. David Cook. His career SHOULD be taking off, but for whatever reason it hasn't yet. Perhaps it is because he's trying to NOT sell out, but you might need to compromise a touch in order to be an artist that can do what he wants. Even John Mayer had to do Body is a Wonderland before he could make what he wanted to make.
8. Kat McPhee. Have you seen her as a blond? Hot. Just saying. She's been dropped once by a label, but another picked her up. Just wear the short shorts and look sexy. The mediocre voice will be enough.
7. Kellie Pickler. I thought she was a funny interview, then I realized she was just playing up the "dumb blond card" ala Jess Simpson. She's a smart and crafty one that Pickler! And she is also cashing in on some of the dumbios that confuse her with Underwood. Can't fault her for that.
6. Jordin Sparks. I feared for her safety when she dueted with Chris Brown on No Air, but she was able to avoid the biting and punches to the face. Apparently people like to download her Battlefield song too. Who knew?
5. Clay Aiken. So he finally came out but that hasn't stopped him from pumping out Christmas album after Christmas album! Joyful Noise!
4. Daughtry. The guy took being voted off just like how MJ did after he was cut by his high school coach: he decided to kick Elliot, Kat and Taylor's butts forever. He had the Vote off song the next year, he kicked off RayCom college football games, it was not over, and he's still pumping out music. He'll probably make the HoF eventually (if his numbers keep up and why wouldn't they?) and he'll pull the MJ and mock Taylor Hicks in his speech. Take THAT Hicks! Where's your harmonica?
3. Kelly Clarkson. She OWNED the VMAs a few years ago and just by virtue of the fact that The Hills uses her CD as a soundtrack counts high on my list.
2. Jennifer Hudson. She got her revenge on America and Fantasia by winning an Oscar and snagging a few Grammy noms. Fantasia was in a Lifetime movie, but she couldn't read her script...
1.Carrie Underwood. How many Grammys and AMAs and People's Choice do you need before you're called the best. Oh, and Forbes agrees with me, considering she made 14M last year. Move over Reba and Dolly and Faith, Carrie and Taylor are going to duke it out for the next 20 years.

Finally, stealing an idea from ESPN's Bill Simmons, if today's young stars had to do the AI route, I think John Mayer beats Taylor Swift in the finals after they outlast Alicia Keys and Rihanna. Chris Brown makes the top ten before he is thrown out after beating up a fellow contestant. I think Jason Mraz has a good run and Michael Buble gets voted out WAY too soon. Miley Cyrus gets the boot as the first finalist voted off. Colbie Cailat sticks around for a bit too but goes out probably at No.5 Jason Aldean is the token country guy rounding out the top ten.
If I was making out the way the show likely goes....
Miley goes first, followed by Chris Brown, Michael Buble, Jason Aldean, Jason Mraz, Colbie Cailat, Rihanna, Alicia Keys then Swift falls to Mayer in the finals. I'd watch.

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