Seriously, stop talking about the dang painting!

Stop it! STOP! RIGHT NOW! STOP IT!

I just read where now "scholars" are thinking that perhaps the Mona Lisa was a self-portrait of Leonardo da Vinci in disguise.

OK, so add that theory to
-a random wife of a merchant from Florence (Italy, not South Carolina)
-his mother
-his gay lover

Seriously? Now we think it is him? Sure. Great!

"Scholars" are saying that perhaps that is why Mona Lisa is smiling, because da Vinci, a known prankster, is playing a trick on everyone.

What do I think? I think these "scholars" need to get a real job instead of looking at the paiting then drinking wine starting at 10 am. Yeah.

But honestly I am just tired of people trying to disect this painting. It isn't all that big from what people tell me and is just a "woman" (or maybe a guy?) semi-smiling. It isn't The David or the Sistine Chapel or even Dogs Playing Poker.

How about we just accept that it is a lady smiling and leave it at that.

Nope, these "scholars" want to exhume da Vinci's carcas and examine the skull, because apparently that could lead to clues on whether the Mona Lisa was him. I guess that would work, because the Mona Lisa is 3D and all....wait, it ISN'T, so then it would just be another guess as well! I guess the "scholars" in France and Italy really have nothing better to do. I wonder if these Italian scholars are related to The Situation or Vinny or Snooki.

Actually, I hope the Italians DO go ahead and dig up da Vinci and have Pauley D and JWoww assist in the process. "We were diggin' up da Vinci and it was all nasty mad gross." "Nah, it was a'ight."

And PS if the French people or Italians ever attempt to make fun of America again, I will just point out that they are DIGGING UP LEONARDO da VINCI TO SEE IF HE WAS MONA LISA. (And the fact that France would be Germany if not for us. PERIOD!)