grunting, kicking, passing and picking!

OK so I went 3-2 after the first night of football, but I guess the SEC gods were punishing me for going against Vandy and taking Miami (OH). I was kidding. I promise. I meant Vandy. As for Stanford winning, well WOW. That was something wasn't it? I went to Chili's last night with the Wifey and her work folk and had a big discussion about who is the bigger celeb: Tiger or Oprah? I say Tiger because he has Asia, Sweden and the sports world in his back pocket. The other argument was that Oprah had all the women in the world or something. I still say Tiger. When you have 1.4B in your pocket, I think you win. Though if we went to downtown ATL this weekend with Black Gay Pride, we might just hear Oprah's name be called moreso than Tigers. Heck, we might even SEE Oprah and her "traveling buddy" there!

On to the picks!

Youngstown St @ #2 Duh Ohio State University. I realize that Tressel used to coach there, but do they HAVE to play them EVERY SINGLE YEAR? Can't Tressel just send the Penguins a check and take the week off? Though tOSU IS playing USC this season, so I'll give them a pass. Hey, I'd love to see Pryor play in this one...but I am not one of the 8 people that actually get the Big Ten Network. Duh Ohio State wins

Akron @ #13 Wisco. Could the Badgers knock of tOSU this season? Some folks are thinking so. I HOPE SO. But why do I think that even IF Wisco beats duh Ohio State, the Buckeyes will STILL make it to the BCSCG? Because Kirk Herbstreit RULES the world
Bagers burrow to the win. BURROW! BURROW!

#17 VaTech @ ECU. With the dismissal of the starting RB and a WR, and the two LBs having left for the NFL and Sean Glennon being named as the starting QB AND Macho Harris missing the game, you would THINK that ECU at home would have a SERIOUS shot at an upset. They almost won last year.....but then you remember the Skip Holtz is the coach. Take the castrated turkeys.

Da Cuse @ Northwestern. This is the battle between the two schools I thought about attending post-Midlothian, but I decided on UGA. From a football standpoint, I made the right call. And as for this game, take the Wildcats because Otto's Orangemen aren't that good.

Hawaii @ #5 Flo-rida. Even WITH Colt and June, I would say that the Gayturds would win this one. WITHOUT those two, Florida wins even bigger. Urban will want to make a statement so Urban's gators will come out and Urban's gators will play and Urban's gators will win by playing Urban's Way. And Urban, according to reports STILL hasn't forgotten about the endzone celebration. Apparently it is sticking in Urban's craw. Whatever that is.

#3USC @ UVA. Wow, if you had THIS YEAR'S USC v LAST YEAR'S UVA, this might be close, but now that CLong is gone as is 23 game QB starter Sewell, I will have to say, "Sorry Daddio, you won't be watching a very exciting game. But at least you'll get to watch it in a suite" Dirty Sanchez and the Trojans win this one. (PS, I'd still like to say THANKS to Stafon Johnson for bypassing UGA to wallow in obscurity out in Troy. If you HAD come to UGA, we would have lost Knowshon. Where can I send the flowers? The sidelines?)

Villanova @ #8 West VA. Well it's good to see that West VA still isn't playing anyone outside of the Big Least conference. Good for you guys. Way to not overexert yourselves! Neers win and we have to watch that assclown on College Gameday Live Monday on ESPN at 3:30.

Okie State at Wazzou. I think we ALREADY know who is going to win this one. The Cowboys. I mean if Mike Gundy was A MAN last year at 40, just think of how MAN-ish he is now at 41. THE MEN win. Plus this goes back to the dominance scale too, humans against Cougars. Of COURSE humans win. Come on!

App State @ #7 LSU. Someone actually said to me the other day, "This year's App State IS APP STATE!" I laughed at them before I hung up the phone. Beating Michigan last year was like the sophomore in high school thinking he was a badass for sleeping with the senior slut. You may seem cool to your friends, but honestly dude, EVERYONE had a turn on that last year. Come on! Geaux Tigers on this one

Miss State @ LaTech. OK, Sly, we've got to talk here. If you TRULY want to be an SEC Power here, you CANNOT travel TO LaTech. Can't do it. If you HAD been named coach of Bama a few years back when Shula was (and by the way, you TOO would have been fired so the school could go after Saban, just so you know. You are still employed because Bama was racist. You should thank someone), you would realize that the SEC NEVER travels to the cupcake. They just DON'T. Missy State wins this one, but I am tempted to root for LaTech just to teach the OTHER bulldogs a lesson.

UTChatt @ #4 Okiehoma. Oklahoma maybe has the easiest schedule of any team in the top 7, and they kick it off with TO's alma mater. Yep, a little bit of trivia there for you. Sam Bradford wins this one though. PS, I'd LOVE to play the Sooners if I'm UGA in the BCSCG. You are assured of a win. Stoops spits the bit in these games worse than Big Brown. Just saying.

Fla Atl @ #11 Texas. Hey Mack Brown, way to win that title a few years back with the playcall, "Hike it Vince and get out of the way." How is that playcall working out with McCoy? I will say congrats on your title, but I think Richt is a better coach right NOW, 5 years ago and 5 years from NOW than you. Just saying. Oh, but you'll beat FAU

Memphis @ Ole Miss. I've got a question. What have I done that the Ole Miss radio crew has NEVER done? Broadcast a game from the GA Dome. HA! Never made an appearance in the GaDome. HA! But seriously though Houston Nutt to Ole Miss might be the best hire this past year in all of college football (Paul Johnson included Techies!) The transfer QB from Texas is there. Nutt will make that work, especially in this game

EXCITING GAMES
#24Bama @ #9 Klimpsen. I would like to root for the SEC and I will, and I know TB has a history of choking in big games, but I don't think Bama is good enough to beat them. WHY ARE THEY RANKED? THEY LOST TO UL-Monroe last year? Tigers rag the tide.

#20Illi @ #6Mizzou. This is what I am talking about. I like Chase v Juice. Maclin v Benn. Pinkell v Zook. Wait, not that last matchup. That one is like a battle of the nimwits out there. Whichever coach gets out of the way faster, HIS TEAM WINS. I say Gary Pinkell does that. Tigers beat the Illini (PS, that would be like the Georgs. Just saying)

Sunday fodder
Kentucky @ Louisville. Has the program REALLY taken a HUGE step forward in Lexington? I don't think so. But I think Louisville's take a bigger step back. Wilcats win. (PS, how do you say Kentucky's capital? Louie-ville, Louis-ville, Lou-a-vul? NOPE Frankfort)

FrezNO @ Rutgers. OK, so I am going to pick the Bulldogs of Le Frez, but ONLY because I do not like Greg Schiano. I think he pulled an Eddie Fogler and I hope he ends up on ESPNU gamecasts or as the analyst for Pam Ward.

#18 Tennessee @ UCLA. If you have a choice between Spinal Tap's drummer and UCLA's QB, you MIGHT have a better chance of making it home as the drummer. Just saying. UCLA is on their 19th QB now and that isn't a good thing going against UT's Eric Berry. Just saying. Vols win and give the SEC some props.

LOCK OF THE WEEK
LaMonroe @ #10 Auburn. You just KNOW that as much as Tommy Twotone loves tweaking Bama, he will run up the score and say to the Bama media "Gee, these guys didn't seem so hard." Tigers, er Plainsmen, er War Eagles win this one.

UPSET OF THE WEEK
Utah @ Michigan. I am certain that Michigan is favored in this one, but I like Utah's QB and I'd love for RichRod to lose his first game. And don't think all of those backwoods folks in WestVa don't have some kind of voodoo dolls out. I know they are mostly mountain people, but losing RichRod was like their one tooth falling out. It was like their trailer burnt down. It was like they got a stain on their Sunday best overalls. It was TERRIBLE. They've put some sort of backwoods jinx on the Wolverines. Take the Stormin' Mormons!

Local Flava Flav..
DragonCon v GT's football game. I read in the paper that Tech could sell out the 42000 seat stadium and that Dragon Con has sold out 5 major downtown hotels. I have to say that the Nerds flocked to DragonCon. Tech loses.

GaSouthern @ #1 UGA. Wow, I love typing that. OF COURSE UGA WINS. On the flip side, I am looking forward to watching AJ Green and Blair Walsh and the rest of those new guys. Heck I am just excited about UGA football being back. I think it is funny that at 6:30 everynight, my dog Chimer is SOOOO excited that he literally cannot do anything but jump up and down. That is how excited he is and that's the only way he can express himself. Well I am sort of like that too. I had to run a lap yesterday and likely will today too as I am so thrilled college football is back. Does UGA go 14-0? Who knows. I would settle for 13-1 with a crystal football at the end of the year in Miami. Go Dawgs.
Enjoy the season everybody!