Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Seriously, boats are STILL getting hit by pirates?

The US Navy flexed its muscles over the weekend and rescued a ship captain from some pirates that had taken his boat. He traded his own safety for that of his crew and then the Navy killed off a few of the captors to free him.

But then TODAY I read that pirates have taken three more ships in the Aden Canal or something like that.

Here is my problem with today's ship take-over by some Somali Pirates...
#1 Somali pirates? Aren't they the same people we used to make fun of with, "What do you call a Somalian with a yeast infection? Quarter-pounder with cheese!" These people are now pirates?

#2 After the world was JUST alerted to pirates, boats out there don't have any protection? Seriously? No guns? No missiles? No Friggin HARPOON GUN? Canonballs?

#3 It ISN'T like these pirates are parachuting onto the boats. Nope. If I can guess, they approach the boat (Which, unless Scott McIntyre is your "lookout in the crow's nest") means the pirates can be seen. Unless they are using invisible boats like Wonderwoman... How about when they approach, you ask them to identify; if they don't, assume they are pirates and get out your harpoon gun!

#4 When the pirate ship DOES finally make it up to your boat, I am thinking that they aren't X-Men and cannot simply JUMP up onto the ship. There has to be some sort of hook ladder they throw up. Couldn't a crew member just unhook the hook ladder? Repeatedly. As long as it takes until the pirates leave.

#5 assuming the pirates DO get the hook ladder into place, you would think that the pirates with the peg-legs would have some trouble getting up onto the boat.

I understand that pirates are scary; I'd be freaked out if a dude with a Bluebeard boarded my boat. I'd freak out if a bird of prey was resting on one of the guy's shoulder. I'd freak out if a guy with a hook came aboard my board looking for a sword fight.

But then I think I'd just shoot him with my harpoon gun.

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