Food Network fires its O'Leary! Plus:Food Network Bracket

Robert Irvine of Food Network's Dinner:Impossible has not had his contract renewed by the network after it was revealed that he fudged part of his resume. Kind of like George O'Leary! Anyway, he fabricated the idea that he has cooked for Britain's Royal Family and several US Presidents. Food Network will air the last few episodes of Dinner:Impossible's 4th season, but then the show will get a new host.
Crazy. The guy is a pretty talented chef, but I guess there are talents chefs all over the place that don't lie, so there we go.
But this guy's show is he cooks dinner for, say, a summer camp's final meal...and he has to do it in 3 hours. It gets wild and he yells a lot.

And it got me thinking....The Ultimate bracket for and Iron Chef competition FEATURING the Food Netword personalities. I don't think they'd ever go for it, because they wouldn't want to lose, but I'd love to see the battles they could wage.

Anyways...I've decided to break it down, with seedings.
1 Bobby Flay First round bye
17 Amy Finley (The Gourmet Next Door)v 18 Ingrid Hoffman (Simply Delicioso)
8 Paula Deen v 9 Ina Garten

4 Mario Batali v 13 Tyler Florence
5 Michael Symon v12 Guy Fieri


3 Cat Cora v14 Alton Brown
6 Emeril v11 Robert Irvine

7 Rachael Ray v 10 Giada De Laurentis
2 Morimoto First round bye
15 Sandra Lee v16 Jamie Oliver

So in our preliminary round match ups....-Bobby Flay had a bye and and he was allowed it sit in on the judging, next to Ted Allen, Jeffrey Steingarten, and Donatella Arpaia. Anyways, in a match-up of smalltimer, not ready for primetime slot hosts, Amy Finley knocks out the Giada Da Laurentiis-wannabe that is Ingrid Hoffman despite Hoffman trying to score points by showing off the girls for the entire hour. The Secret Ingredient was lamb.
-Morimoto was also afforded a bye and he watched as Sandra Lee took on Jamie Oliver, and at first, the Battle:Turkey was neck and neck, but then Sandra Lee ran out of recipes that allowed Corn Flakes for that "almost homemade" feel and Jamie Oliver Took it HOME!, as he scored the upset.

With the prelims, over, the first round got underway....
-Flay just crushed Amy Finley with a smirk on his face the entire time during Battle:Peacock. Amy Finley just can't think of anything to do with peacock and Flay puts a ton of bacon with it to butter up Steingarten. Flay all over it, and he doesn't even break a sweat. In the post-interview he says he was "never worried." Iron BABY! Boy meets Grill! THROWDOWN BABY!
-Morimoto then goes head to head with Jamie Oliver and despite not speaking ANY English, Morimoto still beats the Brit in Battle:Buffalo. The Chimichangas were the difference.
-Mario Batali engaged with Tyler Florence in Battle:Swordfish and while Florence tried to invent "grilled" swordfish (much like he "invented" the Bacon Cheeseburger for Applebees!) Batali actually LOSES when one of his clogs trips him up while he is making Swordfish ice cream. Florence scores the upset, but Batali can't worry about it because ANOTHER one of his restaurants closed during the hour
-New iron chef Michael Symon faces TGIFriday's spokesman Guy Fieri and folks had this one pegged for the classic 12 over 5 upset, but Symon, perhaps rising because of the doubters prevails. In his post-Battle interview says, "No one believed in me. It inspired me to come up with a Ribeye Popsicle for our wonderful judges!
-In a very entertaining match up, Cat Cora ran up against Alton Brown, as Brown, instead of talking about the grueling hour, actually has to participate in Battle:Eggs! Well Cat Cora wins the Battle of the Sexes as Alton chokes under pressure. He trys to be very witty in defeat, but once again, he just looks like a dork and receives an eye roll from THIS GUY!
-Emeril v Robert Irvine is exciting to the very end as Emeril goes BAM! over and over, but due to his cooking style, he is worried about finishing on time. The judges rule that Irvine is the winner, until he admits that he didn't really cook two of the 5 dishes from Battle:wahoo and Emeril is awarded the victory!
-Paula Deen then takes on Ina Garten and the battle is chicken. Right up both of these ladies' alley. Well Paula makes the better fried chicken, but Ina makes a fantastic roasted chicken. The judges award Paula the win because of her chicken 'n Dumplings are better than Ina's attempt at chicken with vegetables
-and in the final match-up of the first round, the match EVERYONE has wanted to see...Giada v Rachael Ray. Sausage is the battle and Giada believes she has the edge. She goes all out with a mini-lasagna and then grills some for a pasta. She also throws together a pizza and finally a panini. Meanwhile Rachael throws down the EVOO and sizzles up some sausage for a pita, then she makes a make-shift hotdog. But then she makes the mistake of trying to include it in a pasta. Giada even screams during the competition, "This isn't 30 minutes BE-Yotch! Well Rachael finishes hers in 30 minutes and just sits for the other 30 minutes and this will come back to haunt her. The judges say that while hers was good, she should NOT have ventured into Giada's wheelhouse with the pasta course and why didn't she take advantage of the other 30 minutes? Giada wins and she gets so excited she even remembers to thank her husband...me!

So the quarterfinal matchups are set...1Flay v 8Deen, 2Morimoto v 10 De Laurentiis, 3Cora v 6Emeril, 5Symon v 13Florence

-Flay then goes up against Deen and Deen knows she is overmatched with Flay, especially when Snails is revealed as secret ingredient. Deen tries to bread and fry them for 5 courses, while Flay knows he has this one. He knocks out Deen with a variety of courses while Deen is pretty much reduced to a one-trick pony during this battle. Flay, though, can't believe the criticism he receives from Steingarten. Could his confidence be his weakness? Like Cornwallis in the Revolutionary War, where Pride was his downfall. At least in The Patriot.

Morimoto faces Giada, as she comes out with a low cut shirt. She is pulling out all of the stops to spring the upset. Before the battle, Morimoto says that while he enjoys the competition, he was hoping for a BCS-like formula to determine #1 and #2 and have them just battle it out one week after the bowls. Alton Brown, (now back as the host/commentator after his loss) says that the competition is a great thing, it can be settled in the kitchen, opposed to a computer. Morimoto says that he will prove, but his prior record should speak for itself. NCAA didn't make USC and Texas go through a playoff in 2005. Flay speaks up that he agrees with Morimoto. Alton wonders aloud if this controversy will affect the Japanese wonder in his battle with Giada. Well that question is answered quickly as Chilean Sea Bass is revealed as the secret ingredient. Giada has not shot, but she gives it all she's got. But Morimoto just makes an example of her, then entire time shouting something in Japanese which is loosely translated as "Oh I guess I need to prove myself even more?" and "How about THAT!?! HOW ABOUT THAT!?!?!" Over and over. The judges are afraid of Morimoto, but his food is fantastic to the point that Ted Allen wonders if we should not even have to make Flay and Morimoto go through the semis. Just straight to the finals.

Cat Cora takes on Emeril in a great quarterfinal matchup featuring two Cajun style masters. The ingredient, of course is crawfish. Cora puts out several masterpieces, but the dessert nearly trips her up. She was thinking ice cream, but she decides against it, instead dipping them guys in chocolate. Emeril though falls victim to the Ice Cream Maker's Siren Song. Emeril was believed to have had the lead until the dessert course does him in. Cat Cora advances on the strength of that last course. Emeril then yells "Damn!" as he walks off.

In the final quarterfinal showdown, Michael Symon knocks heads with Tyler Florence in Battle:tuna. Symon tries to be a little too cute with tuna fish sandwichs and tuna helper, and Tyler Florence's invention of "tuna salad" continues his run. The judges award Florence the victory after they say Symon tried to run "too simple" of a game. Symon takes his defeat in stride, even vowing to go get it together baby! and try Tyler Florence's new Applebees' invention "french fries" at America's Favorite Neighbor.

The Final Four is set...Flay v Florence and Morimoto v Cora. Alton is joined by Al Roker and the guy from Ace of Cakes back at the studios and Roker thinks that Flay will skate into the finals. Ace of Cakes agrees, saying Flay has a "cake walk" unless Florence "invents" something really big in the battle. On the other side, all agree that the winner will have survived possibly the toughest matchup we've seen thus far in the tourney and may not have anything left in the tank. But Roker brings up the point that Flay will not have been truly tested entering the Finals, whereas the Cora/Morimoto winner will have a huge win under his/her belt.

In the night's first matchup Cora v Morimoto, a surprise NO ONE was expecting happened....Morimoto just dominated from the start. He was again harnassing his anger and putting it into his cooking and Cora never stood a chance in Battle:flounder. Morimoto sliced and diced that fish so fast that Cora was wondering if he was channeling her as that clean filet. Morimoto afterwards embraced her and she smiled and wished him good luck. He brushed off Alton and Brown knew that maybe HE was the one Morimoto was picturing as that flounder.

Another surprising contest took place in the second semi-final. Flay was knocked early by Florence's "invention" of BBQ pork tenderloin. Flay would say later, "Wow when Tyler 'invented' pork tenderloin, I thought I was done. All I could do was cook my game and hope to stage a comeback." Comeback Flay did. After seeing this invention of BBQ pork tenderloin, Flay "THREW DOWN" and made his own version with homemade rub that Put Florence's to shame. Eventually Flay came out the victor with a terijaki pork and little pork fijitas, but the score was closer than anyone, Flay included thought it would be. "He rocked me early, when I thought it was going to be a coronation, not a battle. But he came here to cook. All I could do was stick to my gameplan, and I was able to escape with a win. Sometimes in these tournaments, that is all it is about. Survive and advance."

That set the stage for the final match up EVERYONE wanted to see when the bracket was announced. Morimoto v Flay. Battle: Beef Filet Mignon. It is ON LIKE THE BREAK OF DAWN!
Morimoto refused a pre-interview while Flay was quick to grant the interview. "I thought I had this thing wrapped up. Actually, it might have been good to struggle like that in the semis. Thank goodness it was then and not tonight, because if I struggle like that tonight, I will lose. Luckily I was not going against Morimoto. Tonight will be a battle. I think I am a bit of an underdog in this battle because he is on such a roll right now."
With his ego gone after the last round, Flay comes out hotter than his grill. He is grilling and searing and broiling like no tomorrow. He is throwing bleu cheese, bacon, au jus around like no one's business. But Morimoto will NOT be denied either. He is doing his own grilling, even breaking out the surf and turf. That is his theme, a more surf and turf, while Flay is clearly going with All-American Grilling. Flay does add a few shrimp to his plating, while Morimoto is sticking with the steak and Lobster. The entire time Morimoto is shouting, "That American can't stick with the Japanese! Look at your technology! LOOK AT OURS! We invented Nintendo and we OWN THE COOKING WORLD!"
It all comes down to the judging. Steingarten is critical of Flay and everyone loves the Morimoto presentation. It looks like maybe Japan will take down American like a Civic over a Saturn, until the results are revealed. Morimoto has somehow gotten a huge Japanese flag and is waving it to boos by the crowd. By two points, Flay wins! Taste was deadlocked and Morimoto took plating by 1 point. However, Flay seized the Originality category by 3, thus giving him the 2 point margin. Morimoto was crushed and Flay was on air. The two embrace before Alton gives Flay the championship belt and Flay smirks a bit, gives Alton an eye roll before bringing his sous chef and crew up for the National Anthem, which he requests.
Flay finishs his interview by saying that "this is a victory for America. It shows that America DOES sit right on top of the Dominance Scale and will as long as he holds the belt!" With that Flay goes around the crowd and gives high fives, while Morimoto gets booed out of the arena.
Once again, AMERICA WINS!