Who needs logic to fill this thing out?

For the last, I don’t know how many years I have helped my mom fill out her bracket for her office pool, some with my girlfriend, now fiancee. Then last year in my own office pool, I had to sit back and watch Donna from human resources win after correctly picking the Final Four: Florida, “because my son is thinking of going there and it would be nice if they had won,”; Ohio State, “because aren’t they good in football?”; UCLA, “because they were good when I was growing up,”; Georgetown, “because they have the cutest shops up there.”
Seriously. I lost to this woman. I also have lost to my Roomie the last two years in filling out brackets because I didn't just pick the favorites like sending the 4 No.1 seeds to the final four.
Across the country people who follow basketball lose to these people EVERY YEAR! Do the secretaries of America know more about basketball than the self-proclaimed experts? This year, as I fill out my bracket for the office pool, I have decided to go AGAINST everything I know about basketball and think like a secretary. So I think I have a chance. This year Roomie, YOU ARE GOING DOWN!
As I perused through the bracket I made several picks in the first round, much to my brain's chagrin. Georgia was apparently an obvious pick because, “I went there. I HAVE to pick them.” But Fletcher, my brain responded, they play a No.3 seed in Xavier. “I WENT to Georgia. I am picking them.” OK. Indiana was next, “because they play Arkansas, and UGA just beat Arkansas.” I picked Notre Dame because I think Charlie Weis's fupa is funny looking. Kansas was another pick because my fiancee's cousin went to Kansas (and not the fact that they were a No.1 seed). I like Sienna over Vandy because I still feel bad about how Sienna Miller and Jude Law broke up. I also likes Memphis because the fiancee grew up in Arlington, Texas, and Memphis plays UT-Arlington, and, she told me “they were never very good growing up.” My final pick in the first round was Marquette over Kentucky, “because UGA can’t root for Kentucky. They are our rival.”
Moving on to the second round I have Duke winning because their coach “looks like a rat.” I have Georgia’s run ending to Baylor because if Baylor survived Waco and David Keresh, Dennis Felton will be NOTHING. I have Drake advancing to the Sweet Sixteen because “you’ve gotta love the Drake.” Also Stanford will beat Marquette because “they are smarter.” And USC will beat Wisconsin, “because the girls in California are hotter the Wisconsin girls and the team will want to impress them.”

My Final Four turned out to be North Carolina (because I like their blue and white colors), Kansas (the bride-to-be's cousin went to Kansas), UCLA (they have a Beach Boy's nephew playing for them) and Texas (because the bride-to-be is from Texas).

I have UNC beating UCLA in the finals, because they are the No.1 and No.2 teams in the country.

So that is my bracket. Instead of basing it on teams’ strengths and match-ups, I am going with mascots, color schemes, “brother lives there,” “coach seems nice,” and “they won it, like 20 years ago, right?” Not exactly logical, but in March when the Madness starts, logic flies out the window.

++++PS, a version of this appears on www.790thezone.com. You can also check out my Timeout Debate article on there now. There is a link to the 790 homepage at the bottom of this blog+++++++++