First off, let's all recall this blog from the myspace archives in reference to my amendment to the Rules of Television, which I drafted myself (having appointed myself President of TV back in 2005). I don't have a copy of the original Laws and/or Rules since that was on an email from SO LONG AGO, but this is a little something that is OH SO IMPORTANT TO my laws....
Since I am still awaiting appointment to my official position of President of Television, I will go ahead and put out on the table one of my future laws.
NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 IS ALLOWED TO TALK ON COMMERCIALS. This is a joint bill that my peer the Chancellor of Radio is putting forth before his Houses of Congress.
I am not saying kids can't be in commercials, but they are not allowed to talk. Admit it, those Welch's Grape juice commercials frighten you. Could you imagine if the twins from 7th heaven were on an ad. "Buy a Car." "Yeah, a red one." And the kid dressed up in a suit and tie that is an exterminator? Really, when you the last time you saw an exterminator wearing a suit while working? Also the kid in the Athens beef company ads kills me. He is going to hate his parents when he turns 20 and everyone knows him as the kid that said "It's Gooooooooooood"
This also crosses over to radio. The Rich Chocolate Ovaltine one bothers me, the one for New Bank and of course J&M Printing live from Clayton Georgia. Plus throw in the Kurt Cannon adds when he was running for State House. These ads bother me. Anytime you are hearing a kid talk and you think this must be a cute 5 year old, but you find out it is an uneducated 14 year old. Ouch
I can't think of a single commercial that would be an exception for this rule. I don't mind Anna Kornakova starring in an ad as a 16 year old, but don't speak. (Actually she starting getting really fugly when her man voice started coming out in interviews and such. It was like Pam Ward's Dance party)
So even though I do eventually want kids, I will NOT be placing them in speaking parts of commercials until they are 19. It will be their choice. Plus the parents of those kids just scream pedo! Hey there Mr. Ramsey, how's Jon Benet?
Now that we've walked down memory lane, I wanted to weigh in with some thoughts on the new Fall season of TV out there right now.....
Crusoe on NBC. I know it hasn't started yet, but REALLY? Do we need this? I think they've already tried this before....LOST. Yep, that's right. And with Lost, I don't think they KNOW ALREADY how it turns out. I think this show might be the first one cancelled if not for THIS SHOW on NBC....
My Own Worst Enemy. Christian Slater? Oh, so THAT'S what he's been doing for all of these years. Picking and choosing which show he will use as his big comeback vehicle...wait. Maybe you should have stayed in hiding, picking a little more carefully. Poor NBC. Remember when people used to watch that channel? Then Friends and Seinfeld left and they wouldn't pony up to keep Studio 60. GOOD CALL NBC!
Fringe. While I LOVE IT that Joshua Jackson aka Pacey is BACK on TV, this show...I tried for a few episodes, but it is just weird. I cannot give it the big ole Thumbs up. Move it to Friday nights or Thursdays so THAT way I can say "Well I'd watch it if it wasn't on at the same time as The Office...." Sorry Pacey. PS, at least you are still working though, UNLIKE JVDB, Kerr Smith, Michelle Williams and Merideth Monroe!
Dirty Sexy Money. Ummm I am pretty sure I was the only one watching this show (via the ABC.com on demand feature) and I even stopped watching it. I love Casey McCall, but his 6 Feet Under magic is GONE. Sorry Casey. But I did enjoy Anna from The OC in the few episodes I saw. This show could never figure out what it wanted to be (Comedy? Drama? Mystery?) and that killed it. SOme Dramedies work, but this wasn't funny enough to be considered a comedy and wasn't well-written enough to be called a Drama. I get the feeling that an ABC execprod's film student kid wrote this show and as a favor the network ran it. Just the feeling I got.
House. I have seen the first few episodes of the season and can they JUST GO AHEAD and bring back Cameron and Chase yet? How much money are they blowing every week on those two actors? Did talks stall in their negoiations and the show said, "FINE, WE'LL REPLACE YOU!" and the actors said, "Wait, fine you called our bluff. We'll stick around!" but it was too late. I like 13 and Harold (or Kumar, which one was it?) but Talb is a bit annoying. Can we just bring the Aussie and Pacey's conquest from season4-5 hiatus back please? And can House and Cuddy do it already? (AGAIN, I mean! Heyyyooooh!)
Prisonbreak. This might be the best season YET (at least since season 1) They are taking DOWN the company. The only thing that would make it better is if Michael Rappaport gets killed in the show. No, not his character, but if say he is doing a stunt and he falls off a crane. Just kidding. That's mean. But I love the secret ops these guys are pulling off here. this is just better than ANYTHING is season 3 and CLEARLY better than season 2.
The Office. Jim and Pam are getting married. And Dwight might be even funnier. How does this show lose to 30 Rock? I've watched 2.5 episodes of 30 Rock and it JUST. ISN'T. FUNNY. Sorry. Just isn't. Not Compared to The Office.
Kath & Kim. I think this might take off. The first episode was great and I think it will just get better. But then, I always loved that type of BONE DRY humor.
Til Death. How is this still on? Are they airing it until the two main characters (Brad Gilbert and the chick) die? If so, can we put Robert Ramone up on that crane with michael rappaport? Is the guy from American Pie still on this show?
Kitchen Nightmare. Do people really enjoy seeing these gross kitchens then having Gordon Ramsey yell at them to "CLEAN IT UP!" Ummm was he really necessary to tell them to clean up their stuff? Anytime you see bugs and flies in the kitchen, THAT AIN'T GOOD! It actually makes me NEVER want to eat at any of those places. EVEN if they DO give it a makeover. How soon after Gordon leaves do the owners let the kitchen fall back into that state? Hmmm? 2 months? 6 months?
The Real Housewives of Atlanta. So the REAL HOUSEWIVES can come to Atlanta, but The Real World CAN'T? COME ON MTV!
Hole in the Wall. OK, the cherry has popped. Can this show go away now? Wait, I guess they need to have D list celebs do it first before it goes away. So COME ON DOWN JOHNNY FAIRPLAY. You are up next against CT and Todd Bridges!
Lipstick Jungle. So it is Sex and the City, just neutered (Or spayed if you will)? How is this going to work out? Wasn't this called Cashmere Mafia at one point. GO AWAY NOW.
Finally, Deal or No Deal. I didn't realize that was still on. I am tired of watching people turn down huge amounts of money because they think that for WHATEVER REASON they have $1M in a case. When they turn down money like that, I start to root AGAINST them. Those fools. JUST TAKE THE DEAL! But I guess that's why I would never make it past the screening process. (And why do some people say PRO-cess? Just wondering)
So those are my thoughts on some of the new shows. Your President of TV, saying "Good day!"
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