Honeymoon, The G-rated edition

As you may have guessed, I am back from the honeymoon with the wifey, and I thought I would share our experiences on the trip with you....at least as much as I can with this still being a clean blog. You never know. Kids may be reading this. Who am I kidding? Only Roomie reads this blog.
Anyways....
Monday 5:45 am. MAN was that alarm my enemy. Wifey had to get up first and take a shower, which bought me a little time in bed, but it didn't last long as Chimer was clicking around, trying to get out. The ride to the airport was very quiet as I think Wifey fell asleep and the MIL and FIL I think were also a bit asleep while driving us there.

7am. The line at the airport was long, but we eventually got through, even though a kid in front of us was screaming how he didn't want to take off his "magic" shoes to go through the metal detector. I sort of felt bad for the kid, then I remembered Black Hawk Down where sometimes the kids were the bombs. I wanted him scanned.

7:30 we get to our gate and we see that 56 people had signed up for an upgrade to first class. I tried to work my magic and drop the whole "It's our Honeymoon trick" but the guy at the desk just said "Congrats, but sorry I can't move you up." Listen, I didn't except to be moved up to first class, as only ONE seat was available and again there were LITERALLY 56 people that had signed up ahead of us, but just throw us on there at 57 and 58. WOULD THAT HAVE KILLED YOU?

With a little time to go before our 9am flight, I enjoyed a $4 bacon biscuit. I did promise myself that I wouldn't worry about money on this trip, but COME ON! $4 for two pieces of bacon and a crappy stale biscuit? YOU ARE KIDDING ME!

Once on board apparently I fell asleep with my mouth open and MAYBE I snored a bit. Oh well. Wifey called me a mouth-breather. That was nice.

11am, I have ordered two ginger ales and a coke and Wifey has ordered Juno on her TV screen. Meanwhile, MY TV screen isn't hooked up, so I can't watch any movies or even TV. NOPE. i can only look at my neighbor's DISCOVERY Channel and GUESS at what the EXTREME Fishermen are saying. HONEYMOON!

We land at 10:40am Whale's Vagina time (That's San Diego, if you haven't caught on. The city was founded by the Germans in 1906) and we get our rental car (A Ford Focus) and we have 6 hours to kill before we can check in. We decide to head to the Gaslamp district and enjoy a fish taco.

11:30 we arrive and park in the downtown area known as Gaslamp (for more thoughts on this, see my blog about wanting to turn ATLANTA into San Diego. I kept a tally going and SD beat Atlanta 67-4. Yeah) So we go to Tin Fish and I get a grilled Swordfish Taco and Wifey gets a fried fish taco. Pretty good. No taco bell, but very good. I'd eat it again. Maybe with fried flounder the next time. Hmmmmmmmmm

We walk around Gaslamp and REALLY enjoy ourselves for the next few hours. We ate at a Ghirreldinis (however you spell it) and the Peanut Butter melt was superb. I bought an entire bag of those chocolates for the rest of the trip. Great stuff, and apparently there are only 7 of those stores in the entire country. I felt like we should get a members only jacket or something.

3:30 we start heading to our hotel, the Paradise Point Resort and Spa on Vacation Island in Mission Bay. When we get there...WOW. I am sure we will show everyone pix, but that place was SO nice. 6 pools, lagoons, on-site restaurants, putt putt, tennis, hot tubs. You name it. We get to our room, a bay bungalow, and we are at the base of the horseshoe of bungalows and we look STRAIGHT out past the bridge over the bay, right into the Pacific. Wow. I can't even describe the view. WOW. I couldn't wait to get naked and look at the view. Once we got inside, we had a bottle of champagne on ice and we were set.

5:15 we had a couple massage planned for 6pm and I didn't know what to wear to this thing, so I called the front desk while Wifey was in the shower. I asked if I needed to wear a bathing suit, or what and the lady said, "Oh, no, we will have a robe and slippers for you." I said what about afterwards for our hot tub soak. "Well, sir that is up to you, but it is private time." Then she hung up. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

6pm, we show up for this massage and I try to slyly as the guy at the front desk, "so how does this work?" Oh sir, you go and change into your robe and slippers and leave your belongings in the locker. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRight. Well I left my boxerbriefs on, because, well COME ON. Wifey this told me that I could have gotten naked if I had wanted to, but I felt a little weird about that. GOOD THING TOO...
6:20 during the massage, as I was covered by the sheet, the masseuse "reveals" one part of you at a time to rub and when she did my leg, she tucked the sheet RIGHT INTO MY STUFF. If I had been boxerbrief-less, I would have had to buy her a drink. Yeah. I am pretty sure it would have been like Chandler's tailor in that one episode of FRIENDS.
7, after the massage, we got private time in this hottub, and THERE I felt the need to get naked. Don't worry, no one could see me...not that that has ever stopped me in the past.
8. after the massage and hottub time, we get back to the room and drink our champagne and then around 10, we start feeling a little hungry. We decide to walk up to the bar, which is open until midnight according to the guestbook, but by the time we get there at 10:12, the waiter says, "Oh no, we stop serving food at 10, we only serve drinks until midnight." If I hadn't been tipsy on 4 glasses of da bubbly, I might have slugged him. Oh well
10:22, we get back to the room and order room service and get a club sandwich, hamburger and a bottle of wine...for $78. Yeah. WOW. Well we start to eat outside, then we hear what we think is our neighbors putting their room service outside. It keeps going and going. I think, either a family of 97 Mexicans is next door, or a squirrel is in their stuff. I walk over to shoo the nuisance away when I see that it is a FREAKING SKUNK. I quickly herd Wifey inside, and we enjoy our sandwiches inside.

Tuesday
We slept in and then hit up the pool in the morning, after walking around the resort. We walked all around the lagoons, saw all the different types of rooms (Ours was the best) then we settled in at the "Beach" portion of the pool. The chairs were all in sand and the first few steps on the pool had sand at the bottom. Pretty cool. But the water was cold and there were a few kids in the hot tub, so we ventured back to the room around noon.
1pm, we decided to head over to LaJolla and take in some of the sights. La Jolla was beautiful and we both REALLY enjoyed the ocean hitting the rocks. We walked down on the beaches and we saw the seals and the birds on Bird Rock. We settled in at Bull and Bear Pub for a quick snack and drink (cheese fries BABY!) and then hung around long enough to grab dinner at Georges, which was a rooftop restaurant that allowed us to catch the sun setting into the water. Though, the timing of our meal was a bit off. We ate ssssssssssslllllllllllooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy to try and stick around long enough. Then I ordered another drink (by the way, they have NO sense of humor when you mispronounce Mojito on purpose) then we got dessert. But the high bill was worth it. That sunset was gorgeous.

Wednesday
We wanted to head up to Newport this day, but the trip was a little farther than we thought it was. We had planned on eating lunch up there, but we stopped at Jack-In-the-Box before we got there, because when Wifey is hungry, she can get grumpy. We got honked at by a guy that was apparently in line at the drivethru, even though he was parked in a spot. Whatever. (PS, Cali drivers are VERY RUDE. They have No patience for each other, much less a rented Ford Focus with Texas Tags). Newport was a bit of a letdown. We did get a Balboa Bar at the Balboa pier, but the experience was tainted a bit when the ferry was out of commission AND some pigeons (AKA rats with wings) attacked us. NOT KIDDING. I think I peed my pants. We then drove to Laguna Beach and that made up for it a bit. NICE Houses there and we also stopped in on Newport Harbor High, home of the Sailors, but alas, NO GRANT or Clay. (Though I doubt we would have found Clay. He probably would have just blended in with the wall since it has more personality that he does)
The Drive home was stressful as I-5 gets BUSY in the afternoon, but we made it and changed in plenty of time to make it to the Padres game on time
Petco Park was REALLY NICE (again, see previous blog) and I bought a sweatshirt that said Padres, (old school-style) and I ended up sitting next to a Mets fan. I told him I host the Braves post game show on 790 The Zone, and he ACTUALLY seemed pissed at me. He said, "I guess we'll kick your ass this weekend!" he proclaimed. Interesting, I didn't know that he and I had beef, but whatever.
If only Trevor Hoffman had closed the door on that game, we would have seen a 1-0 win for Maddux and his entrance to Hells Bells would have been worth it. Wifey thought that was a LOT of buildup for little follow through. I said, "get used to it. you married me" She laughed....nervously.

Thursday
We spent ALL day at the zoo and Wifey used up ALL of her digital camera space and we had to go back and delete some previous pictures so she could take more. WHO NEEDS WEDDING pics, when you can have 18 more shots of the panda bear? PS, if you are thinking about eating at the ZOO, DON'T eat at Albert's. The food is WAY overpriced for NOT BEING GOOD AT ALL.

6pm, after walking around all day, we decide to go eat in Little Italy and the food was FANNNNNNNTASTIC. Well, except that mine tasted a little like maybe they made me shrimp alfredo, then remembered I ordered Chicken alfredo, so they took the shrimp out and added the chicken. But OTHER THAN THAT, it was great. Wifey really enjoyed the mini bottle of wine they brought us. She thought it was SO CUTE. I was just glad that she drank nearly the entire mini bottle herself. SCORE!

Friday
We woke up and drove first to Cornado, then to Del Mar. That was nice. But once you've seen one mini beach shopping strip, you've seen them all. Wifey felt the same way. We then drove through "Old Towne" which was apparently the "Birthplace" of California. Yep, the place with all of the drunken homeless mexicans gave birth to Silicon Valley. NICE.
Finally we made our way up to Solona Beach where we were going to take a balloon flight at sunset. We got there a little early and went exploring. We came across Fletcher Cove and of course I had to have a picture. Well when we got down to the Cove, we see about 13 news trucks and 6 reporters going live. Apparently there was a shark attack and a guy died. I just so happened to be wearing my 790 The Zone golf shirt and several folks thought I was media. They told me all sorts of stories, and I didn't have the heart to tell them that I was just a dude wearing an Atlanta sports radio shirt. Oh well. It got us the story.
7. We go up in the balloon and fly quite a ways. It really was pretty watching the sun set over the ocean.
Then around 8 we crashed into the ground, but apparently that is how you LAND balloons. By crashing into the ground. OH WELL.

Saturday
We woke up early and made it to the airport in plenty of time, the only problem was there is a first class security line and a regular line. Well, the regular line was roped off by the TSA so we were in line, waiting to be unroped, and when they finally did, maybe 20 of the folks in front of us IMMEDIATELY ran to the first class line, not knowing that it was first class, while the rest of us, WHO WERE LITERATE started walking towards the regular line. Well, an old man in a Hawaiian shirt and hat was in front of us and HE STARTED towards the first class line, actually got out of the regular line and went towards first class, then realized what he had done and went back. Well at this time I had decided that Wifey and I would go to the regular line (because I don't reward mediocraty or IDIOTS, I was going to make him lose his place. He goes, "Umm GUYS!" right towards Wifey and myself, MAD at us for passing his stupid butt BECAUSE HE LEFT THE LINE. I then responded, "well we weren't stupid enough NOT to read the sign." but Wifey pulled me back and let the guy pass. It is ok, because the Karma police got him when he got up to the front of the security line. He chose the wrong screener and he was held off to the side to be searched for something, while Wifey and I went right through in our line. HA! TAKE THAT CRUSTY Illiterate old man-taking your anger at yourself out on the NEWLYWEDS! HA!

Overall it was a nice trip and I CERTAINLY dropped the "We're on our honeymoon" line quite a few times. It got us free parking, discounted tickets to the zoo, a NICE seat at the sunset dinner, and a 4-door car when we only paid for two. Also it got us some extra champagne at the balloon ride. Good for us.

It is nice to be back though. Our doggies were happy to see us return. And I am glad to be back where people KNOW what sweet tea is. I was nearly FORCED to drink wine and beer out there because NO ONE knew what this sweet tea I spoke of was.
Atlanta 7, San Diego 67.