Midweek entertainment report 12/17/08

Maria and Jen get naked, a Guy actually gets paid after a divorce and the ikki twins get farted on. Oh yeah shocker: Obama wins Time Person of the year.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the midweek entertainment report!

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Apparently Playboy Mexico is taking some heat for having a Virgin Mary (or Maria) on its December cover. Wow. I am assuming that a model just "posed" as the Virgin Mary, I mean come on....if you have made Playboy's cover, you've slept with Hugh Hefner, so you aren't a virgin. But, really the Mexicans are THAT pissed that the Virgin Maria is depicted on Playboy? Really? I didn't realize that there were that many folks left down there! I mean I thought they were all on Cumming Highway and Roswell Road at 7am? Am I wrong?

Speaking of Naked....Jen Aniston is posing on the cover of GQ wrapped in a flag or something. WOW. She looks great. Good for John Mayer. I am still not sure about BPitt. Jolie is hot, but with her baggage, isn't Aniston the better option? I mean Billy Bob Thornton hit that for pete's sake. SO DID HER BROTHER! But she WAS hot in Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Aniston is hot all of the time though. I dunno. I am not so sure that Pitt upgraded. Your thoughts?

It was released that Guy Ritchie will get $76M from Madonna as part of the divorce settlement. Hopefully he makes Snatch2 with it. But think about this: he got to sleep with Madonna (we think) for a few years THEN he got $76M. Wow. Awesome for this guy.

In the BIGGEST Shocker all year, Obama won Person of the year from Time or People, whatever. Was there ever a debate? Come on...

Finally,The "a double shot at love with the Ikki twins" report. Is it just me or is there NO real winner potential with ANY of these guys/gals? Just wondering. Rebekha (or however she incorrectly spells her name) was the favorite until Nick let slip that he thought she was flirting with Josh. When asked Xoe (not Zoey, but Xoe? HUH?) and Rebekha and Josh all denied it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO! Did Rosie and Josh admit to making out? No. They would have gotten kicked off the show. What were the Ikki twins thinking?
Back to Rebekha, she lets slip that she has a 4.5 year old son. (To which Jen-my new favorite-says "This isn't a shot at motherhood.") Ummm, can you please answer me this: how does the lezbinen have a child? I thought they didn't sleep with men? The craziest part is:the twins still like her! Hmmmmm. (Maybe because they aren't really bisexual? Just like Rebekha?) I loved with Vikki or Rikki maybe, (i can't tell them apart) said "We're not 21! (or gay for that matter)"

-Hey James the conservative guy....way to bash gay people! Even though they aren't really gay, they are at least pretending to be which means they have to let you go. MORON!

-The black guy Coop just farted on the girls. Way to go Coop. I think you are on the wrong show. I Heart New York is on VH1. You'd fit right in with Mr. Boston.

-Wait, did Rosie just make out with Josh? I thought she was gay? OR Josh is so hot that he turns the lezbinens straight....OR she isn't gay. I think THAT'S IT. Josh isn't hot enough. His last name isn't Cole. He's one Josh that could.

-Hey Nick, STOP talking to the Twins. They hate you.

During the challenge, Scotty gets the guys DQ'ed by taking the sheets off the bed and throwing them over the wall. Right idea, wrong follow-thru. Take the sheets off and put them out of reach from the ink baloons. The girls can't throw that far (actually I was going to make the joke that they throw like girls, but since they are "lezbinens" maybe they are softball players....wait these girls are just faking. They couldn't throw very far. Let's go with original joke.)

Do we think there was enough tongue between Josh and Vikki in that kiss? Good GOD. Josh then smiles when Rosemary gets a key....hmmmmm why would he smile that a lezbinen got saved? Oh, right: SHE'S NOT REALLY GAY.

I would have inserted the joke that Kandi said after elimination that she has "a big heart, maybe it's just a little hidden." FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. But then the Ikki twins told us that Kandi died. Therefore I will not make the fat joke.

Finally, Ben's signature move is wacking it. And he WONDERS why he's unemployed? Guy's a tool.

I also wanted to weigh in on the Auburn/Gene Chizik hire. Why is Chuck Barkley beating the "hire anyone black" drum? Really Turner Gill was the right choice? Two seasons ago Gene Chizik was THE IT GUY. He had just taken Auburn's defense to 14-0 then was the DC when Texas won the national title. He was the Muschamp/Kiffin of that year. He went to Iowa State and had two bad years. You know who else had a bad run at a first job: Pete Carroll with the Jets/Pats and Bill Belicheat with the Browns. Both are now the best coaches in college and the pros, respectively. Turner Gill meanwhile has taken Buffalo to SUCH heights such as the MAC championship? Is that right? If Gil was such a zonetastic candidate, how come Tennessee didn't consider him? Did Klimpsen? Did Washington? Did his alma mater Nebraska hire him last year?
No, no, no, and NO. Would it have made a splash? Sure. Would he have beaten Bama next season? No. Would he possibly be out of a job in 4 years? If Tuberville was fired, you betcha! Tubs runs circles around Gill. Chizik might not, but to call the hire a mistake, really ANY hire was a mistake. Tuberville should still be the coach there. Even Gill would have not been an upgrade over Tuberville.
Tuberville is an A-. Chizik is a C-. Gill is maybe a C. MAYBE.

Call me racist if you want to for questioning Gill as a candidate. I am by NO MEANS saying that Chizik was the right guy to hire. I just don't think his impact is what Sir Charles was thinking it would have been. I think Chucky just wanted a black coach in there. Why? Well I can't call him a racist because that would make me racist. Maybe he just thinks Gill or Charlie Strong would have been better and the fact that they were black had nothing to do with it. Let's go with that.
As a UGA fan, I love the selection, but I think Gill would have been JUST AS BAD. Anyway I look at it, they got rid of one of the 15 best coaches in the game. You replaced him with #79 when MAYBE you could have had #76. Big whoop. Heck, hire Barkley. Or next time, hire Barkley's guy. If he fails say, "Charles, you aren't allowed to speak anymore." That might be the best way to keep him quiet.