And the winner is.................

Since The City was pretty self explanatory (And considering MTV gave away the ending last night with the promo), and since FEMI got to stick around ONCE AGAIN (I think Brody has told MTV who he is going to pick, so the producers are keeping FEMI around just to piss everyone off. WHAT WAS UP with the tattoo? And hey Femi, just answer the guys' question about why you chose that style instead of calling yourself a gazelle and talking about how you almost went to jail when your friend was shot. How does that answer, "Why'd you get Brody's tattoo?" Just wondering....)

The ennvelope please....it's time to announce the winners of the Third Annual Fletcher Globes!

For Best TV Drama: Prisonbreak, House, Nip/Tuck, Friday Night Lights, Mad Men. And the winner is....Mad Men. I think the show sometimes is too smart for me, but I missed a bunch of the Nip/Tuck, FNL was a disappointment (Landry killed a guy? HUH?) and Prisonbreak was too short. House had some great episodes, and some stinkers. Mad Men wins!

For Best TV Comedy The Office, Entourage, 30 Rock, Family Guy. And the winner is....The Office. Hey 30 Rock, you have NO CURRENCY WITH ME! The Office is just too funny not to win the Fletcher Globe EVERY YEAR!

For best actor in a television comedy Steve Carrell (The Office), Alec Baldwin (30 Rock), Jeremy Piven (Entourage). And the winner is....Steve Carrell. Sorry Jeremy Piven, but Michael Scott is pure gold!

For best actor in a television drama Huge Laurie (House), Patrick Dempsey(Grey's Anatomy), Wentworth Miller (Prisonbreak), Jon Hamm (Mad Men), Dylan Walsh (Nip/Tuck), Kyle Chandler (FNL). And the winner is....Huge Laurie. Unlike the Golden Globes, Greg House, MD wins this one. He was solid all year long, unlike his show.

For best actress in a television comedy Jenna Fischer (The Office), Tina Fey (30 Rock, SNL), Amy Pohler (SNL). And the winner is.........Pam Beasley! Go Pam! GO JAM! She should thank her lucky stars that Jim won her this award. After she dumped him too!

For best actress in a television drama Lisa Edelsten (House), Kate Walsh (Private Practice), Emily Deschanel (Bones), Sandra Oh (Gray's Anatomy). And the winner is....Kate Walsh. Come on, she's hot. Emily Deschanel has lost her GI Joe Kung-fu grip on this award. I liked Private Practice, but unfortunatley I haven't gotten back into it this season. Maybe Bones has a shot next year! But her sister is a bit hotter than Emily. GO ZOE!

For best supporting actor in a television comedy Rainn Wilson (The Office), Adrian Grenier (Entourage), Bill Hader (SNL), Andy Samberg (SNL). And the winner is...Dwight. I was tempted to put the creator of G**z in my pants and "Say hi to your motha for me" as the winner, but Dwight has to win this one. If the Golden Globes can shower 30 Rock with love, someone has to shower The Office with love. That is the mantle I must uphold. Call me Atlas.

For best supporting actor in a television drama: TJ Thymes (Bones), Fernando Sucre (Prisonbreak) Julian McMahon (Nip/Tuck). And the winner is....Julian McMahon. He had sex with a check with no legs. WINNER! (But some will argue that he is one of the main characters, to which I disagree. I say he was a supporter this season. Christian Troy takes it.

For Best supporting actress in a television comedy Angela (The Office), Kristin Wiig (SNL). And the winner is....Angela. Take that Tracy Morgan!

For Best supporting actress in a television drama Elizabeth Moss (Mad Men) Anne Dudek/Cutthroat (House), Susan B Anthony (Prisonbreak) Olivia Wilde/13 (House). And the winner is....Anne Dudek aka Cutthroat B!tch. Her character was fascinating. As much as I love me some Alex/13, I have to give the nod to Cutthroat. She was a more interesting character. Now next season, after 13 has had the lezbinen affair, this will be a different story!

For best writing in a TV comedy The Office, 30 Rock, SNL. And the winner is....The Office. Congrats BJ Novak. I give you the nod over Tina Fey. WHY? Because people actually WATCH The Office, and it is funny.

For best writing in a TV Drama House, Private Practice, Friday Night Lights, Nip/Tuck, Mad Men. And the winner is....Mad Men. While some of the episode meanings are over my head, I can tell they are smart. I'd love to give this award to FNL, but the Landry-as-a-murderer angle was too much. And Get Riggins and Lilla together. COME ON! As for Nip/Tuck, I think they've perhaps pushed the envelope JUST A BIT too far. Mad Men wins

For best Reality TV show: The Hills, Survivor: Gabon, American Idol, A Shot at Love, Paris Hilton's New BFF. And the winner is....Survivor:Gabon. Sorry Hills fans, but the season SUCKED. NOTHING HAPPENED. I thought American Idol was supergreatzonetastic, but Survivor had me HOOKED! GO BOB!

Best New Show: Mad Men, Gossip Girls, The City, Paris Hilton's New BFF, Real World: Hollywood. And the winner is....Paris Hilton's New BFF. The drama, the catfighting, the crossdressers. Sorry, Mad Men, but you never had a shot.

For best actor/male character in a reality show: Justin Bobby (The Hills), Spencer (The Hills), David Cook (American Idol), Bob (Survivor:Gabon). And the winner is...Justin Bobby. He reinvented himself for this season and I think his jerk persona was just an act. He is a secret genius that is getting the last laugh on all of us. I just KNOW IT!

For best actress/female character in a reality show: LC (The Hills) The ikki Twins (A Double Shot at Love), Britney (Paris Hilton's New BFF), Sugar (Survivor), Whitney (The City). And the winner is....LC. True her show really sucks and will soon be passed by Whitney's The City, but she is still the queen of the "reality" realm.

For best host of a reality TV show. Ryan Seacrest (American Idol) Jeff Probst (Survivor) Cat Deeley (SYTYCD). And the winner is....Cat Deeley. While I love Jeff's attitude in the Survivor finale, I have to hand this one to Cat Deeley. Not only is she hot, but she has that accent which is like pure buttermilk waffles. So what if her face is crooked?

MOVIES

For Best Movie: Drama Dark Knight, Ironman, Quantum of Solace, Indiana Jones.... And the winner is...The Dark Knight. Why? Because the movie is kicka$$, THAT'S WHY! And ps, who has EVER seen slumdog millionaire? NO ONE! That's who. Don't try and outthink yourself. You know Dark Knight was the best movie you've seen all year. THAT'S WHY it is the winner.

For Best Movie: Comedy Tropic Thunder, Made of Honor, Burn After Reading, Zack and Miri make a Porno, Pineapple Express. And the winner is....Burn After Reading. The Coen Brothers can MAKE A MOVIE! They've got the goods and Brad Pitt is actually quite a funny dude. He should do more comedy roles

For best actor in a drama Christian Bale (Dark Knight), Daniel Craig (Bond, James Bond), Harrison Ford (IJ), Sean Penn (Milk), Josh Brolin (W), Brad Pitt (Ben Buttons...). And the winner is....Sean Penn. The Fletcher Globes have to follow the unwritten rule that you MUST give the award to anyone who plays a retarded person or homosexual. First Tom Hanks, then Tom Hanks, then Sean Penn, and now Sean Penn. Dems is the rulz.

For best actor in a comedy Patrick Dempsey (Made of Honor) George Clooney (Burn After Reading) Seth Rogan (Pineapple Express). And the winner is George Clooney. A good year for that guy. His candidate wins, Dahrfur (spelling?) gets recognized, now he wins the Fletcher Globe. Good for him.

For best actress in a drama Keira Knightley (The Duchess), Angelina Jolie (The Wanted), Kate Winslet (Revolutionary Road). And the winner is....Keira Knightley. She will ALWAYS win the Fletcher Globe. It goes back to the Love Actually character. She is tops. I think she'd have to marry Tim Tebow for me to stop liking her.

For best actress in a comedy Francis McDormand(Burn After Reading), Meryl Streep (Mamma mia), Mila Kunis (Forgetting Sarah Marshall). And the winner is....Francis McDormand. I will NOT be giving this award to Meg Griffin or someone from an ABBA musical. PS, women just aren't funny anymore. Notice that?

For best supporting actor Heath Ledger (Dark Knight) James Franco (Pineapple Express) Robert Downey Jr.(Tropic Thunder). And the winner is....Heath Ledger. And I am not just giving this to him because he killed himself. He was REALLY good as the joker. REALLY GOOD. I wish he could come back for the sequel. But alas....

For best supporting actress Charlize Theron (Hancock), Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler) Evan Rachel Wood (The Wrestler). And the winner is....Marisa Tomei. She took her top off. WINNER!

For Best director Clint Eastwood (Gran Torino), Coen Brothers (Burn After Reading), Ron Howard (Frost/Nixon), Christopher Nolan (Dark Knight). And the winner is...Christopher Nolan. Like there was EVER any doubt. Plus, I think the Gran Torino thing may have been better if Eastwood wasn't in it? I don't know how people direct themselves. Whatever. But Dark Knight was the best movie, so of course the director gets the best director F.G. Plus that movie might be one of the of the last 30 years.

MUSIC
Best song I Kissed a Girl (Katy Perry), So What (Pink), Viva la Vida (Coldplay), Disturbia (Rhianna), All Summer Love (Kid Rock). And the winner is....I Kissed a Girl. Like this WASN'T THE MOST TALKED ABOUT song all year! Viva la Vida loses points because it was on an iPod commercial. Getting back to IKAGAILI. She sounded superhot, and while it was a bit of a disappointment, she is still kinda hot. (Gets hotter every time you see her.) That pushed her over the top. AND Hot n Cold was a SOLID follow-up.

Best artist Katy Perry, Lil Wayne, Coldplay, Rhianna, Jonas Brothers, Chris Brown. And the winner is...Katy Perry. I kissed a girl AND Hot N Cold. Can't top it. Sorry Chris Brown. Sorry Rhianna.

Best new artist Katy Perry, Danity Kane, Leonna Lewis, David Cook. And the winner is...Katy Perry. CLEAN SWEEP. It was just her year.

Thanks for coming out everybody. I am working on a host for next year. Perhaps, Katy Perry?