The Real World: Atlanta. Episode 1

Since MTV has apparently decided NEVER to come to Atlanta, I figured I’d go ahead and make up my own season of RW:ATL. I figured I would put together a fake cast with fake fishbowlers and do this strictly for my ATL crew that is pissed at MTV for not coming here. Hey, maybe this only lasts three weeks and I get bored….or maybe I do all 26 episodes. We shall see. So with no further ado…..THIS is the true story, of seven (ficticious) strangers, picked to live in a house, and have their lives blogged about, to find out, what happens when people STOP acting polite and start acting real. THE REAL WORLD: ATL!

The shot opens with a fish flying across the shot and a 25 year old white male wearing a Mariners hat and slickers catches the fish. “My name is Todd and I’m 25 years old and I live in Seattle, Washington.” Todd is shown playing with his dog and his black girlfriend in a park. “I decided to do Real World because after my mom died six years ago, I’ve had to give up so much. I dropped out of college and had to get three jobs to help out my dad. He lost his job and the house that we grew up in, you know, what can you do? I’m trying to help put my little brother through school (We see a shot of the little brother), and I’m trying to earn enough money to buy this lady right here a wedding ring.” Todd and his girlfriend Raylesha are sitting down to dinner with Todd’s dad and brother. “Ray’s parents don’t like me because I’m white, but I love Ray. She wanted me to go onto Real World for me. I’ve always wanted to be on the show and she says I deserve it. I’m going to miss her though.” (Todd kisses Ray in the video)

We move to Portland, OR, where Cailie is riding a horse. “My name is Cailie, I’m 19 and I’m the biggest Tomboy you’ll ever meet.” Cailie calls herself a tomboy, but you can tell that underneath her “boycut” haircut she is quite an attractive chick. He is a brunette with no piercings anywhere, no hint of jewelry or makeup and she is wearing a cowgirl outfit: jeans, a tacky denim shirt and a cowgirl hat. “I ride horses for a living and am one of the top female rodeo riders in the country.” We see shots of her room and trophies and pictures of horses. “I’m the youngest of six, the only girl. Dad was big into rodeos growing up and all of my brothers have been involved and that’s where Momma and Daddy met. He was a clown. I’m the best rider of the family though.” We see shots of her playing basketball with some of her friends. “I’ve never been in to girly stuff. I’ve always been one of the guys. I hope there aren’t any girly girls in the house. Won’t matter cause I’ll probably get along better with the guys anyways.

Philadelphia. “I’m Kevin, I’m 21 and I wrote rhymes.” Kevin or K-Dawg is a white guy but dresses as if he is auditioning for a spot in a future biopic on Tupac. He swaggers everywhere he walks and refers to himself in the third person at all times. “K-Dawg writes rhymes and my boy Stinky D lays down the beats. We’re gonna take down the rap music industry. Eminem has got NOTHING on K-Dawg.” We see K-Dawg passing out CDs and flyers to a show on a busy street corner. “K-Dawg wanted to be on The Real World because I’m ready to release the Dawg to the world. I’m Realer than anybody I know. Real World’s never been real before and I’m gonna drop what Real really is.” We see Kevin battling another rapper. “I used to have a problem with cocaine. I hit rock bottom when I stole my parents’ TV and sold it for $30 so I could get high that night. They kicked me out. I was 14. I’ve grown up, made something of myself, now K-Dawg is ready to POP!”

New York, “My name is Vladimir, I am 23 and I am a computer programmer.” Vlad is shown typing at his computer. “I came to this country from Warsaw, Poland to go to MIT, and from there I got a job as a computer programmer.” Vlad is seen lifting weights. “I got a job as a model to pay for a place to live. I did some modeling as a teenager in Europe, but it isn’t something you can do forever. Your MIND is will be there long after your looks.” We see Vlad playing hockey. “I think the dumb Polock jokes are stupid and anyone that uses them is small minded. I am proud to be from Poland and my parents are smart. I miss them, but they are happy I am in A-MERica, making something of myself. We are a proud people, I mean we invented the submarine with a screendoor.” He laughs at himself.

Florida, “I’m Carly, I’m 22 and I’m a student.” Carly is shown walking through the FSU campus. “A few years ago I got a little publicity when a picture of me wearing a cowboy hat and a Seminole tanktop ended up on a magazine cover. I had a bunch of offers to do photo shoots and I took a year off. Playboy offered me and I did it, but my dad got all mad if I was going to take my clothes off. I decided to do a shot in a jeanskirt wearing the hat with the top draped across my, well, YOU KNOW.” A shot of the playboy picture is shown. “Daddy still won’t talk to me, but hey, it’s my life. I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m happy.”

Iowa City, “I’m Dani, I’m 24 and I save lives.” Dani is shown putting on her firefighter gear in the Iowa City fire station #2. “Being the only woman in all of the Iowa City’s firefighters Union, I look at it as an honor.” Dani is then shown driving a Subaru. “I figured out I was a lesbian when I was 12 and I came out that day to my folks. They were supportive, I guess. I think my dad thought it was a phase while mom didn’t care. She was a hippie that met Dad at Woodstock. They lived in San Francisco and New York and London before they moved back to Iowa when Grandpa got sick. They live “normal” lives now, but I like that they are still supportive of me.” Dani is shown walking down the street with her girlfriend Michelle. “Michelle is the love of my life, at least I think. We have an open relationship. We are two dynamic people, like bright stars. We’re together now, but eventually we’re going to burn out. I don’t think anyone today will stay together forever.”

Columbus, OH, “I’m Jimmy, I’m 23 and I play soccer.” Jimmy is seen playing soccer for the Columbus Crew of MLS. I played soccer at UVA and love the game. I want to eventually play in Europe, but right now I’m kind of having trouble finding the pitch.” Jimmy is black, 5’11 with a perfectly shaved head. A mustache-goatee lines his face and he looks like a he SHOULD be the face of American soccer-literally THE FACE. “I was named as one of People’s ‘sexiest athletes’ which my teammates raz me for, since I don’t really play. They ask me ‘are you an athlete? Do you play golf?’ HA HA! Not.” Jimmy is shown walking with his girlfriend Abby, a former soccer player herself at UVA. Abby is perfect for me and I love her so much. She understands my schedule and my sport. I think we’re going to be together forever. She gets a little jealous sometimes, but she knows she is the only girl for me.”

A shot of The Varsity finds Jimmy standing eating a Slaw Dog when Cailie walks up in full cowgirl gear. “Hi, I’m Cailie.” “I’m Jimmy.” The two shake hands and Cailie looks Jimmy up while Jimmy throws his wrapper away. “I really shouldn’t eat that. My trainer would NOT approve of that.”
“Are you a model?” asks Cailie
“No, I play soccer. What do you do?”
“I am a professional rodeo rider. So you play soccer. That’s cool. We should kick it around.
“A rodeo rider. I don’t know if I could keep up.”
Cailie appears smitten. “Are you single?”
Laughs… “Wow, you are direct. No I have girlfriend back home. I love her a lot.” Responds Jimmy.
“That’s a shame. But I still want to kick a soccer ball with you.”

A shot of Centinniel Park finds Vlad throwing a quarter into the fountain when Dani walks up. “Hi, I’m Dani.”
“Vlad. Nice to meet you.”
“That accent, where are you from?”
“Poland,” answers Vlad. “How about you?”
“Iowa. Wait, Poland? What are you doing here?”
“I went to college and now I work in New York. What do you do?”
“I am a firefighter, only female in Iowa,” proudly states Dani.
“A firefighter, that is dangerous, right? What does your boyfriend say?”
“I actually am into chicks. I thought the butch haircut would have given that away.”
Vlad looks puzzled. “Butch? You are a lesbian, yes?”
“Yes. Are you gay? You certain yourself in gay shape.”
“No I like to look at the females. I like to look at you. Should I not?” Vlad asks. Dani cracks up and they walk off.

K-Dawg is standing at the MLK Monument when Carly walks up. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bleep. K-Dawg heard we were getting the model chick.”
“Hi, I’m Carly,” says a red-faced Carly, wearing the now-famous cowboy hat. “What was your name?”
“Kevin, but everybody calls me K-Dawg.” Carly extends her hand and Kevin kisses it.
“Wow!” says an unamused Carly says. “So what do you do?”
“I’m the next big thing, Baby. I rap,” proclaims K-Dawg.
“That’s cool. Have you ever been to the ATL?”
“Dirty South Baby! TI is from here, Outkast, my competition!” Kevin is boasting while circling around in a strut.
“Should we go?” asks Carly?

Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson Airport where Todd is grabbing his luggage. He is looking at the directions and asks another passenger, “What’s MARTA?” He gets pointed to the MARTA train and he boards. The doors close as REAL WORLD flashes on the screen and we go to commercial.

So Dani and Vlad are on a trolley headed towards the Virginia Highlands area.
“So you aren’t into men at all?” asks Vlad?
“No, I have always been with girls, ever since I figured out I was 12. I’m not saying I’d never be into guys, but the right one never came along.” She winks at Vlad.
“Are you asking if I would be that guy?”
“No, well maybe. Ya never know,” says Dani. “You are too hot to be a computer programmer.”
“ I was a model before I came to America,” says Vlad very meekly.
“Whoa, a model? Like Zoolander?” Dani does the Blue Steel look as Vlad seems confused.
“No I never worked at a zoo.”

We see Cailie and Jimmy in a limo and Jimmy is showing a clearly not interested Cailie a picture of Abby.
“This is my Abby. She played soccer at Virginia too.”
“Do you think you’ll stay together?”
“Oh yeah. We’ll get married once I get my contract,” predicts Jimmy. “Are you involved?”
“No. None of the guys ever really saw me like that. I guess the guys on tour are into more girly girls and I think regular guys are intimidated by my profession?”
“Maybe, but I think athletes are hot. Abby is a bit of a tomboy. But she cleans up nice too. I bet you do too,” wonders Jimmy. Cailie blushes a bit before punching Jimmy and proclaiming that they will be friends.

Kevin and Carly are riding in a cab. “So that picture really brought a lot of attention, that maybe I wasn’t ready for. I mean, I took time off from school to do some model work, but that’s not for me.”
“You ever do anything for Maxim or Playboy?” asks Kevin?
“I did a piece for Playboy…”
“Ahhhh shite…”
“No,” Carly shot out quickly. “I had clothes on.”
“No fun. I’m riding with Carly, hot Carly from the mag, I swear before this is over I’ll have her in the bag, She’ll be my sweetie, I had her since the greeting,” Kevin raps before Carly cut him off.
“You’re a rapper?”
“Yeah girl.”
“Oh?!” says a miserable Carly. She has a look of HELP ME as they are stopped at a red light.

Todd is the first to arrive at the Virginia Highlands house. He walks in, see the first bedroom off to the side of the foyer. He keeps walking past on of the sitting areas, a circle couch complete with fishtank floor. The pool table sits in between another sitting area and the kitchen area. The kitchen has a bartop area with a big island and a fully stocked fridge. He keeps walking to find a back deck that overlooks the intersection of Virginia and Highlands. There is a hottub that infinity-empties into a pool. The backyard has a chiminia and outside sitting area. The side yard features a basketball area. Todd walks back inside and goes upstairs where he finds all three bedrooms. Two have two beds each, the third has a three spot. The top floor is where the office is housed, as well as a gym and a balcony with a waterslide down to the pool. It is a twisty slide and Todd says, “SOMEONE’S gonna get in trouble with that!”
About that time he hears Dani and Vlad enter the house.
“Hello?” Dani shouts.
Todd runs downstairs and introductions are made.
Next we see Carly busting it into the house so get away from K-Dawg.
Todd recognizes Carly and Kevin walks up and tries to talk to everyone.
When Kevin is talking to Vlad, he finds out that Vladimir is Polish. “What, dude, your Polish?” asks Kevin.
“And you are a Dog?” responds Vlad.
In the confessional room, located off of the kitchen, Carly confesses that she is SO GLAD is can get away from Kevin. “K-Dawg? More like K-Tool. Hey Kevin, there are mirrors EVERYWHERE. LOOK INTO ONE, YOU’RE WHITE!”

Jimmy and Cailie finally arrive and hugs are given all around. Carly seems happy that Jimmy is there. Cailie does not appear to be amused. Dani and Todd are talking and Todd drops that Dani reminds him of his girlfriend. “Well probably not too much. I’m a lesbian.”
“Oh snap, we’ve got a lesbian!” shouts Kevin.
“Yep, I’m gay everybody. Anybody else?” asks Dani. Everyone else says they are straight.
“OK, who’s single and who is taken?” asks Kevin.
“I’m involved,” answers Jimmy as Carly looks disappointed
“I’m taken too,” says Todd
“Ladies, K-Dawg’s available,” says Kevin, as Cailie, Dani, and Carly all roll their eyes.
“I am single,” answers Vlad and Carly seems interested in his accent.
“Single,” answers Carley and Cailie shakes her head as to imply single status.
“I’m sort of involved,” reveals Dani.
“Wait, what does that mean?”
“Well I’m dating a girl right now, but I’m always open to every experience,” explains Dani.
“I want to check out the house!” yells Kevin.
“I want to hit the hot tub, who’s with me?” yells Carly.

Carly, Jimmy, and Dani are all in the hot tub when Vlad talks out and Carly whistles. Cailie walks out next in a one-piece bathing suit and Jimmy boos. “Come on, get a two piece. Cailie seems embarrassed. Kevin shouts from the top of the slide, “K-Dawg is making a splash down baby!”
Todd eventually comes to the hot tub with his Mariners hat and a bevie. Kevin splashes everyone and then gets into the hot tub.
“Alright, so here is to the ATL and our first hot tub!” toasts Jimmy.
“So where are we going tonight?” asks Carly? “I hear that the Highlands is the place to go.”
“That’s right over there, right?” Dani points over across the property to the VaHi area.
“ATL, Baby!” Kevin shouts as he pounds his drink.
“So what do you do?” Carly asks Vlad. “I am a model and a computer programmer.”
“ I saw you in that magazine, right?” inquired Jimmy to Carly. “That’s me and my hat.”
“So are you a cowgirl?” asks a hopeful Cailie. “No, just liked the hat. Kind of made me famous,” answers Carly.
“So who is going to hook up?” Dani throws out.
“Well I hope not me, because I have a girlfriend,” responds Jimmy. “I do too,” throws in Todd. “I think Vlad and Cailie,” guesses Dani. Cailie blushes as Vlad is apparently not listening.
“So should we get ready to go out?” “Let’s go.” Todd finishes his drink and everyone goes inside, leaving K-Dawg in the pool.

We see the crew walking down the street and into Atkins Park. Music is playing and though crowded, Carly tries to dance. “So she’s a party girl,” Jimmy says to his roommate Todd. They’ve decided to room together because they can’t stand Kevin and they have a bond in that they both have girlfriends. The three girls decided to room together as well, leaving Vlad and K-Dawg together. Vlad isn’t too happy about that. “I guess I’ll have to drink a lot.” Carly is OF COURSE wearing her hat and Cailie is in black leather pants and a cute top that Dani made her borrow. She is showing signs that she is pretty underneath the tomboy top. Jimmy takes notice and Cailie is drinking and trying to get Jimmy’s attention back from Carly.
Dani is talking to a guy and a girl and Kevin is alone at the bar drinking. Vlad is just standing off to a side with a drink. After a while Carly starts talking to a guy and Jimmy moves his attention back to Cailie. Todd and Vlad have to break up K-Dawg from arguing with some other bar patrons. Todd and Vlad take a kicked out K-Dawg back home as Dani, Cailie, Jimmy, and Carly go to Moe and Joe’s as it is near the house. They are sort of drizzunk and Cailie and Jimmy are seriously flirting. Carly is kind of pissed and Dani takes all of them back. Jimmy mumbles something to Cailie and she smiles before pushing him and telling him to go to bed and think about Abby.
As everyone goes to bed Todd is complaining about Kevin while Jimmy asks Todd to keep him away from Cailie when they are drunk. “I got ya bro.”
Meanwhile Carly and Cailie both think Jimmy is cute. Carly tells Cailie she doesn’t have a chance unless she “keeps throwing herself at him like she did tonight.” Cailie thinks that’s uncalled for and Dani agrees. “Guys, let’s just shut the f up and go to bed.”

The next morning Jimmy is eating breakfast and apologizes to a very tomboy looking Cailie. Cailie says there is no reason to apologize and they high-five. We’re cool, says Cailie. Alright. Carly then tells Cailie that she is sorry and they shouldn’t fight. We’re roommates, we should be friends. It is OK. They hug it out. We do need to be careful with Jimmy though. All’s fair in love and war.

This season ON The Real World: Atlanta, Kevin and Dani argue. Carly and Cailie are both seen yelling about Jimmy. Vlad is throwing a beer at Kevin’s head. Todd pushes a drunk Cailie away. Jimmy is hugging Carly. Carly is kissing Vlad. Dani is kissing Todd and Todd is crying on the phone. Finally Jimmy and Abby are seen together at the front door and Jimmy is apologizing.